A JOURNEY AROUND THE WORLD
BY
MARK TWAIN
SAMUEL L. CLEMENS
HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT
CONTENTS
CHAPTER I.
The Party—Across America to Vancouver—On Board the Warrimo—Steamer
Chairs—The Captain—Going Home under a Cloud—A Gritty
Purser—The Brightest Passenger—Remedy for Bad Habits—The
Doctor and the Lumbago—A Moral Pauper—Limited Smoking—Remittance-men.
CHAPTER II.
Change of Costume—Fish, Snake, and Boomerang Stories—Tests of
Memory—A Brahmin Expert—General Grant’s Memory—A
Delicately Improper Tale
CHAPTER III.
Honolulu—Reminiscences of the Sandwich Islands—King Liholiho
and His Royal Equipment—The Tabu—The Population of the Island—A
Kanaka Diver—Cholera at Honolulu—Honolulu; Past and Present—The
Leper Colony
CHAPTER IV.
Leaving Honolulu—Flying-fish—Approaching the Equator—Why
the Ship Went Slow—The Front Yard of the Ship—Crossing the
Equator—Horse Billiards or Shovel Board—The Waterbury Watch—Washing
Decks—Ship Painters—The Great Meridian—The Loss of a Day—A
Babe without a Birthday
CHAPTER V.
A lesson in Pronunciation—Reverence for Robert Burns—The
Southern Cross—Troublesome Constellations—Victoria for a Name—Islands
on the Map—Alofa and Fortuna—Recruiting for the Queensland
Plantations—Captain Warren’s NoteBook—Recruiting not
thoroughly Popular
CHAPTER VI.
Missionaries Obstruct Business—The Sugar Planter and the Kanaka—The
Planter’s View—Civilizing the Kanaka—The Missionary’s View—The
Result—Repentant Kanakas—Wrinkles—The Death Rate in
Queensland
CHAPTER VII.
The Fiji Islands—Suva—The Ship from Duluth—Going Ashore—Midwinter
in Fiji—Seeing the Governor—Why Fiji was Ceded to England—Old
time Fijians—Convicts among the Fijians—A Case Where Marriage
was a Failure—Immortality with Limitations
CHAPTER VIII.
A Wilderness of Islands—Two Men without a Country—A Naturalist
from New Zealand—The Fauna of Australasia—Animals, Insects,
and Birds—The Ornithorhynchus—Poetry and Plagiarism
CHAPTER IX.
Close to Australia—Porpoises at Night—Entrance to Sydney
Harbor—The Loss of the Duncan Dunbar—The Harbor—The City
of Sydney—Spring-time in Australia—The Climate—Information
for Travelers—The Size of Australia—A Dust-Storm and Hot Wind
CHAPTER X.
The Discovery of Australia—Transportation of Convicts—Discipline—English
Laws, Ancient and Modern—Flogging Prisoners to Death—Arrival
of Settlers—New South Wales Corps—Rum Currency—Intemperance
Everywhere—$100,000 for One Gallon of Rum—Development of the
Country—Immense Resources
CHAPTER XI.
Hospitality of English-speaking People—Writers and their Gratitude—Mr.
Gane and the Panegyrics—Population of Sydney An English City with
American Trimming—“Squatters”—Palaces and Sheep Kingdoms—Wool
and Mutton—Australians and Americans—Costermonger
Pronunciation—England is “Home”—Table Talk—English and
Colonial Audiences
CHAPTER XII.
Mr. X., a Missionary—Why Christianity Makes Slow Progress in India—A
Large Dream—Hindoo Miracles and Legends—Sampson and Hanuman—The
Sandstone Ridge—Where are the Gates?
CHAPTER XIII.
Public Works in Australasia—Botanical Garden of Sydney—Four
Special Socialties—The Government House—A Governor and His
Functions—The Admiralty House—The Tour of the Harbor—Shark
Fishing—Cecil Rhodes’ Shark and his First Fortune—Free Board
for Sharks.
CHAPTER XIV.
Bad Health—To Melbourne by Rail—Maps Defective—The
Colony of Victoria—A Round-trip Ticket from Sydney—Change
Cars, from Wide to Narrow Gauge, a Peculiarity at Albury—Customs-fences—“My
Word”—The Blue Mountains—Rabbit Piles—Government R. R.
Restaurants—Duchesses for Waiters—“Sheep-dip”—Railroad
Coffee—Things Seen and Not Seen
CHAPTER XV.
Wagga-Wagga—The Tichborne Claimant—A Stock Mystery—The
Plan of the Romance—The Realization—The Henry Bascom Mystery—Bascom
Hall—The Author’s Death and Funeral
CHAPTER XVI.
Melbourne and its Attractions—The Melbourne Cup Races—Cup Day—Great
Crowds—Clothes Regardless of Cost—The Australian Larrikin—Is
He Dead?—Australian Hospitality—Melbourne Wool-brokers—The
Museums—The Palaces—The Origin of Melbourne
CHAPTER XVII.
The British Empire—Its Exports and Imports—The Trade of
Australia—To Adelaide—Broken Hill Silver Mine—A
Roundabout road—The Scrub and its Possibilities for the Novelist—The
Aboriginal Tracker—A Test Case—How Does One Cow-Track Differ
from Another?
CHAPTER XVIII.
The Gum Trees—Unsociable Trees—Gorse and Broom—A
universal Defect—An Adventurer—Wanted L200, got L20,000,000—A
Vast Land Scheme—The Smash-up—The Corpse Got Up and Danced—A
Unique Business by One Man—Buying the Kangaroo Skin—The
Approach to Adelaide—Everything Comes to Him who Waits—A
Healthy Religious sphere—What is the Matter with the Specter?
CHAPTER XIX.
The Botanical Gardens—Contributions from all Countries—The
Zoological Gardens of Adelaide—The Laughing Jackass—The Dingo—A
Misnamed Province—Telegraphing from Melbourne to San Francisco—A
Mania for Holidays—The Temperature—The Death Rate—Celebration
of the Reading of the Proclamation of 1836—Some old Settlers at the
Commemoration—Their Staying Powers—The Intelligence of the
Aboriginal—The Antiquity of the Boomerang
CHAPTER XX.
A Caller—A Talk about Old Times—The Fox Hunt—An Accurate
Judgment of an Idiot—How We Passed the Custom Officers in Italy
CHAPTER XXI.
The “Weet-Weet”—Keeping down the Population—Victoria—Killing
the Aboriginals—Pioneer Days in Queensland—Material for a
Drama—The Bush—Pudding with Arsenic—Revenge—A
Right Spirit but a Wrong Method—Death of Donga Billy
CHAPTER XXII.
Continued Description of Aboriginals—Manly Qualities—Dodging
Balls—Feats of Spring—Jumping—Where the Kangaroo Learned
its Art—Well Digging—Endurance—Surgery—Artistic
Abilities—Fennimore Cooper’s Last Chance—Australian Slang
CHAPTER XXIII.
To Horsham (Colony of Victoria)—Description of Horsham—At the
Hotel—Pepper Tree-The Agricultural College, Forty Pupils—High
Temperature—Width of Road in Chains, Perches, etc.—The Bird
with a Forgettable Name—The Magpie and the Lady—Fruit Trees—Soils—Sheep
Shearing—To Stawell—Gold Mining Country—$75,000 per
Month Income and able to Keep House—Fine Grapes and Wine—The
Dryest Community on Earth—The Three Sisters—Gum Trees and
Water
CHAPTER XXIV.
Road to Ballarat—The City—Great Gold Strike, 1851—Rush
for Australia—“Great Nuggets”—Taxation—Revolt and
Victory—Peter Lalor and the Eureka Stockade—“Pencil Mark”—Fine
Statuary at Ballarat—Population—Ballarat English
CHAPTER XXV.
Bound for Bendigo—The Priest at Castlemaine—Time Saved by
Walking—Description of Bendigo—A Valuable Nugget—Perseverence
and Success—Mr. Blank and His Influence—Conveyance of an Idea—I
Had to Like the Irishman—Corrigan Castle, and the Mark Twain Club—My
Bascom Mystery Solved
CHAPTER XXVI.
Where New Zealand Is—But Few Know—Things People Think They
Know—The Yale Professor and His Visitor from N. Z.
CHAPTER XXVII.
The South Pole Swell—Tasmania—Extermination of the Natives—The
Picture Proclamation—The Conciliator—The Formidable Sixteen
CHAPTER XXVIII.
When the Moment Comes the Man Appears—Why Ed. Jackson called on
Commodore Vanderbilt—Their Interview—Welcome to the Child of
His Friend—A Big Time but under Inspection—Sent on Important
Business—A Visit to the Boys on the Boat
CHAPTER XXIX.
Tasmania, Early Days—Description of the Town of Hobart—An
Englishman’s Love of Home Surroundings—Neatest City on Earth—The
Museum—A Parrot with an Acquired Taste—Glass Arrow Beads—Refuge
for the Indigent too healthy
CHAPTER XXX.
Arrival at Bluff, N. Z.—Where the Rabbit Plague Began—The
Natural Enemy of the Rabbit—Dunedin—A Lovely Town—Visit
to Dr. Hockin—His Museum—A Liquified Caterpillar—The
Unperfected Tape Worm—The Public Museum and Picture Gallery
CHAPTER XXXI.
The Express Train—“A Hell of a Hotel at Maryborough”—Clocks
and Bells—Railroad Service.
CHAPTER XXXII.
Description of the Town of Christ Church—A Fine Museum—Jade-stone
Trinkets—The Great Moa—The First Maori in New Zealand—Women
Voters—“Person” in New Zealand Law Includes Woman—Taming an
Ornithorhynchus—A Voyage in the ‘Flora’ from Lyttelton—Cattle
Stalls for Everybody—A Wonderful Time.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
The Town of Nelson—“The Mongatapu Murders,” the Great Event of the
Town—Burgess’ Confession—Summit of Mount Eden—Rotorua
and the Hot Lakes and Geysers—Thermal Springs District—Kauri
Gum—Tangariwa Mountains
CHAPTER XXXIV.
The Bay of Gisborne—Taking in Passengers by the Yard Arm—The
Green Ballarat Fly—False Teeth—From Napier to Hastings by the
Ballarat Fly Train—Kauri Trees—A Case of Mental Telegraphy
CHAPTER XXXV.
Fifty Miles in Four Hours—Comfortable Cars—Town of Wauganui—Plenty
of Maoris—On the Increase—Compliments to the Maoris—The
Missionary Ways all Wrong—The Tabu among the Maoris—A
Mysterious Sign—Curious War-monuments—Wellington
CHAPTER XXXVI.
The Poems of Mrs. Moore—The Sad Fate of William Upson—A Fellow
Traveler Imitating the Prince of Wales—A Would-be Dude—Arrival
at Sydney—Curious Town Names with Poem
CHAPTER XXXVII.
From Sydney for Ceylon—A Lascar Crew—A Fine Ship—Three
Cats and a Basket of Kittens—Dinner Conversations—Veuve
Cliquot Wine—At Anchor in King George’s Sound Albany Harbor—More
Cats—A Vulture on Board—Nearing the Equator again—Dressing
for Dinner—Ceylon, Hotel Bristol—Servant Brampy—A
Feminine Man—Japanese Jinriksha or Cart—Scenes in Ceylon—A
Missionary School—Insincerity of Clothes
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
Steamer Rosetta to Bombay—Limes 14 cents a Barrel—Bombay, a
Bewitching City—Descriptions of People and Dress—Woman as a
Road Decoration—India, the Land of Dreams and Romance—Fourteen
Porters to Carry Baggage—Correcting a Servant—Killing a Slave—Arranging
a Bedroom—Three Hours’ Work and a Terrible Racket—The Bird of
Birds, the Indian Crow
CHAPTER XXXIX.
God Vishnu, 108 Names—Change of Titles or Hunting for an Heir—Bombay
as a Kaleidoscope—The Native’s Man Servant—Servants’
Recommendations—How Manuel got his Name and his English—Satan—A
Visit from God
CHAPTER XL.
The Government House at Malabar Point—Mansion of Kumar Shri Samatsin
Hji Bahadur—The Indian Princess—A Difficult Game—Wardrobe
and Jewels—Ceremonials—Decorations when Leaving—The
Towers of Silence—A Funeral
CHAPTER XLI.
A Jain Temple—Mr. Roychand’s Bungalow—A Decorated Six-Gun
Prince—Human Fireworks—European Dress, Past and Present—Complexions—Advantages
with the Zulu—Festivities at the Bungalow—Nautch Dancers—Entrance
of the Prince—Address to the Prince
CHAPTER XLII.
A Hindoo Betrothal, midnight, Sleepers on the ground, Home of the Bride of
Twelve Years Dressed as a Boy—Illumination—Nautch Girls—Imitating
Snakes—Later—Illuminated Porch Filled with Sleepers—The
Plague
CHAPTER XLIII.
Murder Trial in Bombay—Confidence Swindlers—Some Specialities
of India—The Plague, Juggernaut, Suttee, etc.—Everything on
Gigantic Scale—India First in Everything—80 States, more
Custom Houses than Cats—Rich Ground for Thug Society
CHAPTER XLIV.
Official Thug Book—Supplies for Traveling, Bedding, and other
Freight—Scene at Railway Station—Making Way for White Man—Waiting
Passengers, High and Low Caste, Touch in the cars—Our Car—Beds
made up—Dreaming of Thugs—Baroda—Meet Friends—Indian
Well—The Old Town—Narrow Streets—A Mad Elephant
CHAPTER XLV.
Elephant Riding—Howdahs—The New Palace—The Prince’s
Excursion—Gold and Silver Artillery—A Vice-royal Visit—Remarkable
Dog—The Bench Show—Augustin Daly’s Back Door—Fakeer
CHAPTER XLVI.
The Thugs—Government Efforts to Exterminate them—Choking a
Victim—A Fakeer Spared—Thief Strangled
CHAPTER XLVII.
Thugs, Continued—Record of Murders—A Joy of Hunting and
Killing Men—Gordon Cumming—Killing an Elephant—Family
Affection among Thugs—Burial Places
CHAPTER XLVIII.
Starting for Allahabad—Lower Berths in Sleepers—Elderly Ladies
have Preference of Berths—An American Lady Takes One Anyhow—How
Smythe Lost his Berth—How He Got Even—The Suttee
CHAPTER XLIX.
Pyjamas—Day Scene in India—Clothed in a Turban and a Pocket
Handkerchief—Land Parceled Out—Established Village Servants—Witches
in Families—Hereditary Midwifery—Destruction of Girl Babies—Wedding
Display—Tiger-Persuader—Hailstorm Discouragers—The
Tyranny of the Sweeper—Elephant Driver—Water Carrier—Curious
Rivers—Arrival at Allahabad—English Quarter—Lecture Hall
Like a Snowstorm—Private Carriages—A Milliner—Early
Morning—The Squatting Servant—A Religious Fair
CHAPTER L.
On the Road to Benares—Dust and Waiting—The Bejeweled Crowd—A
Native Prince and his Guard—Zenana Lady—The Extremes of
Fashion—The Hotel at Benares—An Annex a Mile Away—Doors
in India—The Peepul Tree—Warning against Cold Baths—A
Strange Fruit—Description of Benares—The Beginning of Creation—Pilgrims
to Benares—A Priest with a Good Business Stand—Protestant
Missionary—The Trinity Brahma, Shiva, and Vishnu—Religion the
Business at Benares
CHAPTER LI.
Benares a Religious Temple—A Guide for Pilgrims to Save Time in
Securing Salvation
CHAPTER LII.
A Curious Way to Secure Salvation—The Banks of the Ganges—Architecture
Represents Piety—A Trip on the River—Bathers and their
Costumes—Drinking the Water—A Scientific Test of the Nasty
Purifier—Hindoo Faith in the Ganges—A Cremation—Remembrances
of the Suttee—All Life Sacred Except Human Life—The Goddess
Bhowanee, and the Sacrificers—Sacred Monkeys—Ugly Idols
Everywhere—Two White Minarets—A Great View with a Monkey in it—A
Picture on the Water
CHAPTER LIII.
Still in Benares—Another Living God—Why Things are Wonderful—Sri
108 Utterly Perfect—How He Came so—Our Visit to Sri—A
Friendly Deity Exchanging Autographs and Books—Sri’s Pupil—An
Interesting Man—Reverence and Irreverence—Dancing in a
Sepulchre
CHAPTER LIV.
Rail to Calcutta—Population—The “City of Palaces”—A
Fluted Candle-stick—Ochterlony—Newspaper Correspondence—Average
Knowledge of Countries—A Wrong Idea of Chicago—Calcutta and
the Black Hole—Description of the Horrors—Those Who Lived—The
Botanical Gardens—The Afternoon Turnout—Grand Review—Military
Tournament—Excursion on the Hoogly—The Museum—What
Winter Means in Calcutta
CHAPTER LV.
On the Road Again—Flannels in Order—Across Country—From
Greenland’s Icy Mountain—Swapping Civilization—No Field women
in India—How it is in Other Countries—Canvas-covered Cars—The
Tiger Country—My First Hunt—Some Wild Elephants Get Away—The
Plains of India—The Ghurkas—Women for Pack-Horses—A
Substitute for a Cab—Darjeeling—The Hotel—The Highest
Thing in the Himalayas—The Club—Kinchinjunga and Mt. Everest—Thibetans—The
Prayer Wheel—People Going to the Bazar
CHAPTER LVI.
On the Road Again—The Hand-Car—A Thirty-five-mile Slide—The
Banyan Tree—A Dramatic Performance—The Railroad Loop—The
Half-way House—The Brain Fever Bird—The Coppersmith Bird—Nightingales
and Cue Owls
CHAPTER LVII.
India the Most Extraordinary Country on Earth—Nothing Forgotten—The
Land of Wonders—Annual Statistics Everywhere about Violence—Tiger
vs. Man—A Handsome Fight—Annual Man Killing and Tiger Killing—Other
Animals—Snakes—Insurance and Snake Tables—The Cobra Bite—Muzaffurpore—Dinapore—A
Train that Stopped for Gossip—Six Hours for Thirty-five Miles—A
Rupee to the Engineer—Ninety Miles an Hour—Again to Benares,
the Piety Hive—To Lucknow
CHAPTER LVIII.
The Great Mutiny—The Massacre in Cawnpore—Terrible Scenes in
Lucknow—The Residency—The Siege
CHAPTER LIX.
A Visit to the Residency—Cawnpore—The Adjutant Bird and the
Hindoo Corpse—The Taj Mahal—The True Conception—The Ice
Storm—True Gems—Syrian Fountains—An Exaggerated Niagara
CHAPTER LX.
To Lahore—The Governor’s Elephant—Taking a Ride—No
Danger from Collision—Rawal Pindi—Back to Delhi—An
Orientalized Englishman—Monkeys and the Paint-pot—Monkey
Crying over my Note-book—Arrival at Jeypore—In Rajputana—Watching
Servants—The Jeypore Hotel—Our Old and New Satan—Satan
as a Liar—The Museum—A Street Show—Blocks of Houses—A
Religious Procession
CHAPTER LXI.
Methods in American Deaf and Dumb Asylums—Methods in the Public
Schools—A Letter from a Youth in Punjab—Highly Educated
Service—A Damage to the Country—A Little Book from Calcutta—Writing
Poor English—Embarrassed by a Beggar Girl—A Specimen Letter—An
Application for Employment—A Calcutta School Examination—Two
Samples of Literature
CHAPTER LXII.
Sail from Calcutta to Madras—Thence to Ceylon—Thence for
Mauritius—The Indian Ocean—Our Captain’s Peculiarity—The
Scot Has one too—The Flying-fish that Went Hunting in the Field—Fined
for Smuggling—Lots of Pets on Board—The Color of the Sea—The
Most Important Member of Nature’s Family—The Captain’s Story of Cold
Weather—Omissions in the Ship’s Library—Washing Decks—Pyjamas
on Deck—The Cat’s Toilet—No Interest in the Bulletin—Perfect
Rest—The Milky Way and the Magellan Clouds—Mauritius—Port
Louis—A Hot Country—Under French Control—A Variety of
People and Complexions—Train to Curepipe—A Wonderful
Office-holder—The Wooden Peg Ornament—The Prominent Historical
Event of Mauritius—“Paul and Virginia”—One of Virginia’s
Wedding Gifts—Heaven Copied after Mauritius—Early History of
Mauritius—Quarantines—Population of all Kinds—What the
World Consists of—Where Russia and Germany are—A Picture of
Milan Cathedral—Newspapers—The Language—Best Sugar in
the World—Literature of Mauritius
CHAPTER LXIII.
Port Louis—Matches no Good—Good Roads—Death Notices—Why
European Nations Rob Each Other—What Immigrants to Mauritius Do—Population—Labor
Wages—The Camaron—The Palmiste and other Eatables—Monkeys—The
Cyclone of 1892—Mauritius a Sunday Landscape
CHAPTER LXIV.
The Steamer “Arundel Castle”—Poor Beds in Ships—The Beds in
Noah’s Ark—Getting a Rest in Europe—Ship in Sight—Mozambique
Channel—The Engineer and the Band—Thackeray’s “Madagascar”—Africanders
Going Home—Singing on the After Deck—An Out-of-Place Story—Dynamite
Explosion in Johannesburg—Entering Delagoa Bay—Ashore—A
Hot Winter—Small Town—No Sights—No Carriages—Working
Women—Barnum’s Purchase of Shakespeare’s Birthplace, Jumbo, and the
Nelson Monument—Arrival at Durban
CHAPTER LXV.
Royal Hotel Durban—Bells that Did not Ring—Early Inquiries for
Comforts—Change of Temperature after Sunset—Rickhaws—The
Hotel Chameleon—Natives not out after the Bell—Preponderance
of Blacks in Natal—Hair Fashions in Natal—Zulus for Police—A
Drive round the Berea—The Cactus and other Trees—Religion a
Vital Matter—Peculiar Views about Babies—Zulu Kings—A
Trappist Monastery—Transvaal Politics—Reasons why the Trouble
came About
CHAPTER LXVI.
Jameson over the Border—His Defeat and Capture—Sent to England
for Trial—Arrest of Citizens by the Boers—Commuted Sentences—Final
Release of all but Two—Interesting Days for a Stranger—Hard to
Understand Either Side—What the Reformers Expected to Accomplish—How
They Proposed to Do it—Testimonies a Year Later—A “Woman’s
Part”—The Truth of the South African Situation—“Jameson’s
Ride”—A Poem
CHAPTER LXVII.
Jameson’s Raid—The Reform Committee’s Difficult Task—Possible
Plans—Advice that Jameson Ought to Have—The War of 1881 and
its Lessons—Statistics of Losses of the Combatants—Jameson’s
Battles—Losses on Both Sides—The Military Errors—How the
Warfare Should Have Been Carried on to Be Successful
CHAPTER LXVIII.
Judicious Mr. Rhodes—What South Africa Consists of—Johannesburg—The
Gold Mines—The Heaven of American Engineers—What the Author
Knows about Mining—Description of the Boer—What Should be
Expected of Him—What Was A Dizzy Jump for Rhodes—Taxes—Rhodesian
Method of Reducing Native Population—Journeying in Cape Colony—The
Cars—The Country—The Weather—Tamed Blacks—Familiar
Figures in King William’s Town—Boer Dress—Boer Country Life—Sleeping
Accommodations—The Reformers in Boer Prison—Torturing a Black
Prisoner
CHAPTER LXIX.
An Absorbing Novelty—The Kimberley Diamond Mines—Discovery of
Diamonds—The Wronged Stranger—Where the Gems Are—A
Judicious Change of Boundary—Modern Machinery and Appliances—Thrilling
Excitement in Finding a Diamond—Testing a Diamond—Fences—Deep
Mining by Natives in the Compound—Stealing—Reward for the
Biggest Diamond—A Fortune in Wine—The Great Diamond—Office
of the De Beer Co.—Sorting the Gems—Cape Town—The Most
Imposing Man in British Provinces—Various Reasons for his Supremacy—How
He Makes Friends
CONCLUSION.
Table Rock—Table Bay—The Castle—Government and
Parliament—The Club—Dutch Mansions and their Hospitality—Dr.
John Barry and his Doings—On the Ship Norman—Madeira—Arrived
in Southampton
FOLLOWING THE EQUATOR