Twenty-One Days In India - free ebook by George Aberigh-Mackay

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Twenty-One Days In India

George Aberigh-Mackay

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TWENTY-ONE DAYS IN INDIA

TWENTY-ONE DAYS IN INDIA

Or, The Tour Of Sir Ali Baba K.C.B. and THE TEAPOT SERIES by GEORGE R. ABERIGH-MACKAY Sometime Principal of the Rajkumar College Indore Ninth Edition with New Illustrations and Elucidations 1914 [Illustration: THE TRAVELLING M.P.—"The British Lion rampant."]...

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PUBLISHERS' PREFACE

PUBLISHERS' PREFACE

In this edition it has been considered advisable to reproduce, verbatim, only the "Twenty-one Days" as originally published in Vanity Fair , the additional series of six included in several editions of the book issued after the Author's death being omitted. The twenty-one papers in question have been supplemented by contributions to The Bombay Gazette , which appeared in that daily newspaper during the whole of the year 1880, the year before the Author's death, under the nom de plume of "Our Pol

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PREFACE

PREFACE

* * * * * Bombay Gazette Press , 1881. * * * * *...

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WITH THE VICEROY

WITH THE VICEROY

[August 2, 1879.] It is certainly a little intoxicating to spend a day with the Great Ornamental. You do not see much of him perhaps; but he is a Presence to be felt, something floating loosely about in wide epicene pantaloons and flying skirts, diffusing as he passes the fragrance of smile and pleasantry and cigarette. The air around him is laden with honeyed murmurs; gracious whispers play about the twitching bewitching corners of his delicious mouth. He calls everything by "soft names in many

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THE A.D.C.-IN-WAITING

THE A.D.C.-IN-WAITING

[Illustration: THE A.D.C.-IN WAITING—"An arrangement in scarlet and gold."] [August 9, 1879.] The tone of the A.D.C. is subdued. He stands in doorways and strokes his moustache. He nods sadly to you as you pass. He is preoccupied with—himself, [some suppose; others aver his office.] He has a motherly whisper for Secretaries and Members of Council. His way with ladies is sisterly—undemonstratively affectionate. He tows up rajas to H.E., and stands in the offing. His attitude towards rajas is one

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WITH THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF

WITH THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF

[August 16, 1879.] At Simla and Calcutta the Government of India always sleeps with a revolver under its pillow—that revolver is the Commander-in-Chief. There is a tacit understanding that this revolver is not to be let off; indeed, sometimes it is believed that this revolver is not loaded. [The Commander-in-Chief has a seat in Council; but the Military Member has a voice. This division of property is seen everywhere. The Commander-in-Chief has many offices; in each there is someone other than t

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WITH THE ARCHDEACON A MAN OF BOTH WORLDS

WITH THE ARCHDEACON A MAN OF BOTH WORLDS

[Illustration: THE ARCHDEACON—"A man of both worlds."] [August 23, 1879.] The Press Commissioner has been trying by a strained exercise of his prerogative to make me spend this day with the Bishop, and not with the Archdeacon; but I disregard the Press Commissioner; I make light of him; I treat his authority as a joke. What authority has a pump? Is a pump an analyst and a coroner? Why should I spend a day with the Bishop? What claim has the Bishop on my improving conversation? I am not his spons

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WITH THE SECRETARY TO GOVERNMENT

WITH THE SECRETARY TO GOVERNMENT

[August 30, 1879.] He is clever, I am told, and being clever he has to be rather morose in manner and careless in dress, or people might forget that he was clever. He has always been clever. He was the clever man of his year. He was so clever when he first came out that he could never learn to ride, or speak the language, and had to be translated to the Provincial Secretariat. But though he could never speak an intelligible sentence in the language, he had such a practical and useful knowledge o

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H.E. THE BENGALI BABOO

H.E. THE BENGALI BABOO

[Illustration: THE BENGALI BABOO—"Full of inappropriate words and phrases."] [September 13, 1879.] The ascidian[B] that got itself evolved into Bengali Baboos must have seized the first moment of consciousness and thought to regret the step it had taken; for however much we may desire to diffuse Babooism over the Empire, we must all agree that the Baboo itself is a subject for tears. The other day, as I was strolling down the Mall, whistling Beethoven's 9th Symphony, I met the Bengali Baboo. It

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WITH THE RAJA

WITH THE RAJA

[September 20, 1879.] Try not to laugh, Dear Vanity. I know you don't mean anything by it; but these Indian kings are so sensitive. The other day I was translating to a young Raja what Val Prinsep had said about him in his "Purple India"; he had only said that he was a dissipated young ass and as ugly as a baboon; but the boy was quite hurt and began to cry, and I had to send for the Political Agent to quiet him and put him to sleep. When you consider the matter philosophically there is nothing

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WITH THE POLITICAL AGENT A MAN IN BUCKRAM

WITH THE POLITICAL AGENT A MAN IN BUCKRAM

[Illustration: THE POLITICAL AGENT—"A man in buckram."] [September 27, 1879.] This is a most curious product of the Indian bureaucracy. Nothing in all White Baboodom is so wonderful as the Political Agent. A near relation of the Empress who was travelling a good deal about India some three or four years ago said that he would rather get a Political Agent, with raja, chuprassies,[H] and everything complete, to take home, than the unfigured "mum" of Beluchistan, or the sea-aye-ee mocking bird, Kok

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WITH THE COLLECTOR

WITH THE COLLECTOR

[October 4, 1879.] Was it not the Bishop of Bombay who said that man was an automaton plus the mirror of consciousness? The Government of every Indian province is an automaton plus the mirror of consciousness. The Secretariat is consciousness, and the Collectors form the automaton. The Collector works, and the Secretariat observes and registers. To the people of India the Collector is the Imperial Government. He watches over their welfare in the many facets which reflect our civilisation. He est

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BABY IN PARTIBUS

BABY IN PARTIBUS

[October 11, 1879.] The Empire has done less for Anglo-Indian Babies than for any class of the great exile community. Legislation provides them with neither rattle nor coral, privilege leave nor pension. Papa has a Raja and Star of India to play with; Mamma the Warrant of Precedence and the Hill Captains; but Baby has nothing—not even a missionary; Baby is without the amusement of the meanest cannibal. Baby is debarred from the society of his compatriots. His father is cramped and frozen with th

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THE RED CHUPRASSIE

THE RED CHUPRASSIE

[October 18, 1879.] The red chuprassie is our Colorado beetle, our potato disease, our Home ruler, our cupboard skeleton, the little rift in our lute. The red-coated chuprassie is a cancer in our Administration. To be rid of it there is hardly any surgical operation we would not cheerfully undergo. You might extract the Bishop of Bombay, amputate the Governor of Madras, put a seton in the pay and allowances of the Lieutenant-Governor of Bengal, and we should smile. The red chuprassie is ubiquito

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THE PLANTER A FARMER PRINCE

THE PLANTER A FARMER PRINCE

[Illustration: THE PLANTER—"A farmer prince."] [October 25, 1879] The Planter lives to-day as we all lived fifty years ago. He lives in state and bounty, like the Lord of Burleigh. He lives like that fine old English gentleman who had an old estate, and who kept up his old mansion at a bountiful old rate. He lives in a grand wholesale manner; he lives in round numbers; he lives like a hero. Everything is Homeric about him. He establishes himself firmly in the land with great joy and plenty; and

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THE EURASIAN A STUDY IN CHIARO-OSCURO

THE EURASIAN A STUDY IN CHIARO-OSCURO

[Illustration: THE EURASIAN—"A study in chiaro oscuro."] [November 1, 1879.] The Anglo-Indian has a very fine eye for colour. He will mark down "one anna in the rupee" with unerring certainty; he will suspect smaller coin. He will tell you how he can detect an adulterated European by his knuckles, his nails, his eyebrows, his pronunciation of the vowels, and his conception of propriety in dress, manner, and conduct. To the thorough-bred Anglo-Indian, whose blood has distilled through Haileybury

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THE VILLAGER

THE VILLAGER

"Venio nunc ad voluptates agricolarum, quibus ego" (like the Famine Commissioners) "incredibiliter delector." [November 8, 1879.] I missed two people at the Delhi Assemblage of 1877. All the gram-fed secretaries and most of the alcoholic chiefs were there; but the famine-haunted villager and the delirium-shattered, opium-eating Chinaman, who had to pay the bill, were not present. I cannot understand why Viceroys and English newspapers call the Indian cultivator a "riot." He never amo

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THE OLD COLONEL

THE OLD COLONEL

[Illustration: THE OLD COLONEL—"Ripening for pension."] "Kwaihaipeglaoandjeldikaro"— Rigmarole Veda. [November 15, 1879.] The old Indian Colonel ripening for pension on the shelf of General Duty is an object at once pitiful and ludicrous. His profession has ebbed away from him, and he lies a melancholy derelict on the shore, with sails flapping idly against the mast and meaningless pennants streaming in the wind. He has forgotten nearly everything he ever learnt of military duty, and what he has

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THE CIVIL SURGEON

THE CIVIL SURGEON

"Throw physic to the dogs, I'll none of it." [November 22, 1879.] Perhaps you would hardly guess from his appearance and ways that he was a surgeon and a medicine-man. He certainly does not smell of lavender or peppermint, or display fine and curious linen, or tread softly like a cat. Contrariwise. He smells of tobacco, and wears flannel underclothing. His step is heavy. He is a gross, big cow-buffalo sort of man, with a tangled growth of beard. His ranting voice and loud familiar manner amount

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THE SHIKARRY

THE SHIKARRY

[November 29, 1879.] I have come out to spend a day in the jungle with him, to see him play on his own stage. His little flock of white tents has flown many a march to meet me, and have now alighted at this accessible spot near a poor hamlet on the verge of cultivation. I feel that I have only to yield myself for a few days to its hospitable importunities and it will waft me away to profound forest depths, to the awful penetralia of the bison and the tiger. Even here everything is strange to me;

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THE GRASS-WIDOW IN NEPHELOCOCCYGIA

THE GRASS-WIDOW IN NEPHELOCOCCYGIA

[Illustration: THE GRASS WIDOW—"Sweet little Mrs. Lollipop."] Her bosom's lord sits lightly on his throne? [December 6, 1879] Little Mrs. Lollipop has certainly proved a source of disappointment to her lady friends. They have watched her for three seasons going lightly and merrily through all the gaieties of Cloudland; they have listened to the scandal of the cuckoos among the pine-trees and rhododendrons, but they have not caught her tripping. Oh, no, they will never catch her tripping. She doe

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THE TRAVELLING M.P. THE BRITISH LION RAMPANT

THE TRAVELLING M.P. THE BRITISH LION RAMPANT

[December 13, 1879.] There is not a more fearful wild fowl than your travelling M.P. This unhappy creature, whose mind is a perfect blank regarding Faujdari [Y] and Bandobast ,[Z] and who cannot distinguish the molluscous Baboo from the osseous Pathan, will actually presume to discuss Indian subjects with you, unless strict precautions be taken. When I meet one of these loose M.P.'s ramping about I always cut his claws at once. I say, "Now, Mr. T.G., you must understand that, according to my sta

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MEM-SAHIB

MEM-SAHIB

"Her life is lone. He sits apart; He loves her yet: she will not weep, Tho' rapt in matters dark and deep He seems to slight her simple heart. "For him she plays, to him she sings Of early faith and plighted vows; She knows but matters of the house, And he, he knows a thousand things." [December 20, 1879.] I first met her shepherding her little flock across the ocean. She was a beautiful woman, in the full sweetness and bloom of life. [The

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ALI BABA ALONE THE LAST DAY

ALI BABA ALONE THE LAST DAY

"Now the last of many days, All beautiful and bright as thou, The loveliest, and the last is dead, Rise, memory, and write its praise." [December 27, 1879.] How shall I lay this spectre of my own identity? Shall I leave it to melt away gracefully in the light of setting suns? It would never do to put it out like a farthing rushlight after it had haunted the Great Ornamental in an aurora of smiles. Is Ali Baba to cease upon the midnight without pain? or is he to lie do

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THE TEAPOT SERIES SOCIAL DISSECTION

THE TEAPOT SERIES SOCIAL DISSECTION

[January 5, 1880.]...

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GOSSIP I.

GOSSIP I.

I cannot understand why Mrs. Smith, with her absurd figure—for really I can apply no other adjective to it—should wear that most absurdly tight dress. Some one should tell her what a fright it makes of her. She is nothing but convexities. She looks exactly like an hour-glass, or a sodawater machine. At a little distance you can hardly tell whether she is coming to you, or going away from you. She looks just the same all round. People call her smile sweet; but then it is the mere sweetness of ina

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SAHIB

SAHIB

[February 19, 1880.] I first met him driving home from cutcherry in his buggy. He was a fat man in the early afternoon of life. In his blue eyes lay the mystery of many a secret salad and unwritten milk-punch; but though he smoked the longest cheroots of Trichinopoly and Dindigul, his hand was still steady and still grasped a cue or a long tumbler, with the unerring certainty of early youth and unshaken health. Of an evening he would come over to my bungalow in a friendly way; he would "just dro

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THE GRYPHON'S ANABASIS

THE GRYPHON'S ANABASIS

[March 29, 1880.] For some days the moustaches had been assuming a fiercer curl; more and more troopers had been added to the escort; the Lord whispered in the unreluctant ear softer and softer nothings; the scarlet runners bowed lower and lower; and it was rumoured that the Lord had given the Gryphon a pot of his own club-mutton hair-grease. It would be a halo. This development of glory must have a limit: a feeling got abroad that the Gryphon must go. The Commander-in-Chief would come up to him

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THE ORPHAN'S GOOD RESOLUTIONS

THE ORPHAN'S GOOD RESOLUTIONS

[June 8, 1880.] * * * * *...

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PERSONS I WILL TRY TO AVOID.

PERSONS I WILL TRY TO AVOID.

1. He has a villa in the country; but his place of business is in town; somewhere near Sackville Street. Vulgarity had marked him for her own at an early age. She had set her mark indelibly on his speech, his manners, and his habits. When ten years old he had learned to aspirate his initial vowels; when twelve he had mastered the whole theory and practice of eating cheese with his knife; at seventeen his mind was saturated with ribald music of the Vaudeville type. Reader, you anticipate me? You

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SOME OCCULT PHENOMENA

SOME OCCULT PHENOMENA

[October 21, 1880.] There were thirteen of them, and they sat down to dinner just as the clock in the steeple chimed midnight. The sheeted dead squeaked and gibbered in their graves; the owl hooted in the ivy. "For what we are going to receive may the Secret Powers of Nature and the force of circumstances make us truly thankful," devoutly exclaimed the domestic medium. The spirits of Chaos and Cosmos rapped a courteous acknowledgment on the table. Potage à la sorcière (after the famous recipe in

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WITH THE VICEROY

WITH THE VICEROY

The late Edward Robert Bulwer, First Earl of Lytton (1831-1891), Viceroy and Governor-General of India from April 12, 1876, to June 8, 1880, is here depicted from the superficial point of view of his character as a man, a poet, and a statesman generally current at the time. Lord Lytton was thoroughly unconventional in all his manners and moods, and in his methods of conducting the affairs of his great office. As a boy of seven he was already scribbling verses; and he wrote a poem, "The Prisoner

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THE A.-D.-C.-IN-WAITING

THE A.-D.-C.-IN-WAITING

We have here an admirable summary of the highly important personal duties of a tactful A.D.C. to an Indian Viceroy. Not the least important being the superintendence of the Invitation Department. It was in this very connection that an A.D.C. to an Indian Governor, fresh from a West Indian appointment and Society somewhat on "Tom Cringle's Log" conditions, by issuing invitations to a Quality Dance , gave rise, in Southern India, to a social commotion which reacted very unfavourably as regards the

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WITH THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF

WITH THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF

An exceedingly important change affecting the power and functions of the Indian Commander-in-chief, together with various other reforms in the military administration of India, were all anticipated, foreshadowed, and—it is believed—largely helped on by this very paper, and others under the general heading of Things in India , contributed by Ali Baba to Vanity Fair during 1879. Ali Baba, unlike some others that might readily be cited, would doubtless have been foremost in according most generous

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WITH THE ARCHDEACON

WITH THE ARCHDEACON

In this article Ali Baba has pourtrayed with infinite skill and geniality the many-sided character of the late Joseph Baly, M.A., who was Archdeacon of Calcutta from 1872 until he retired from India in 1883. Appointed to the Bengal Ecclesiastical establishment in 1861, Mr. Baly served as Chaplain at Sealkote, Simla, and Allahabad until 1870, when, while on furlough in England, he acted as Rector of Falmouth until 1872. In 1885 he was appointed chaplain at the church in Windsor Park, built by Que

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WITH THE SECRETARY TO GOVERNMENT

WITH THE SECRETARY TO GOVERNMENT

This article is of a composite nature. At the time it was published in 1879, the foreign policy of Lord Lawrence was a burning question, and in connection with the Afghan War then running its course, renewed attention was directed to the two essays, "Masterly Inactivity" and "Mischievous Activity," first published in The Fortnightly Review in December 1869, and March 1870, respectively, by a comparatively young Bengal Civilian, the late J.W.S. Wyllie, C.S.I. (1835-1870). Beyond the fact that the

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H.E. THE BENGALI BABOO

H.E. THE BENGALI BABOO

Ali Baba avowedly treats the Bengali Baboo merely as a being "full of inappropriate words and phrases … and the loose shadows of English thought." Such being the case, it must never be forgotten that he is the product, in every sense of the word, of British modes of purely secular education. Modes which, eminently at the present time, are being gravely called in question. All of which has been more lately elaborated by "F. Anstey," i.e. Mr. Thomas Anstey Guthrie, in the persons of "Baboo Jabberj

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WITH THE RAJA

WITH THE RAJA

In this article we have a vivid picture—mainly—of a type of Indian Noble it was Aberigh-Mackay's aim and life's work in India to avoid creating. That too from the beginning of his career, but more especially in the training, and that not merely in book-learning, he initiated and earned on up to the last days of his life within and without the Residency College at Indore. To paraphrase the language of the then recently appointed Agent to the Governor-General for Central India—Sir Lepel Griffin—in

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WITH THE POLITICAL AGENT

WITH THE POLITICAL AGENT

The position of Political Agent, important though it was in 1879, is much more so now. The territories of the Indian Princes are being daily opened up more and more by railways; many of them contain coal, iron, gold, and other minerals in payable quantities, and the development of these resources call for very delicate handling in the matter of friendly advice by Political Agents. In recent years, nay, at the present time, loud complaints have been published, emanating from experienced and unbia

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WITH THE COLLECTOR

WITH THE COLLECTOR

In this sketch, warm with local colour, the real pivot of the great official wheel of Indian administration, "the Collector," is drawn with the exactness due to his importance. Withal very lifelike and picturesque in many of its touches. Thirty years have of course made great changes in many of the details of life in the districts of an Indian Province, now as a rule connected up by lines of railway. Improved leave rules and many other causes have rendered intercourse with the home country much

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BABY IN PARTIBUS

BABY IN PARTIBUS

This sketch, which may well be termed a beautiful lament over poor Baby, has brought back vividly to many a one touching recollections: a picture in fact which appealed, and continues to appeal, to an audience infinitely wider than that of Anglo-India. The same may be said of the sketches "The Grass-Widow," p. 139; "Mem-Sahib," p. 157, by many considered the best sketch of all; and "Sahib," p. 181. All of them full of that pathos and tenderness akin to, but yet differing widely from, the banteri

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THE RED CHUPRASSIE

THE RED CHUPRASSIE

Alas! the Red Chuprassie is still a rift in the lute of Indian administration; a reform in Chuprassies would doubtless be more beneficial to India than any wonder-working nostrum —such as Advisory Councils or extended Legislative Councils. The cry for reform in Chuprassies, or in other words the underlings of many Departments, is a very old one. Ali Baba's denunciation of the "Red Chuprassie" powerfully expands that one by Sir Alfred Lyall, where in his poem of The Old Pindaree , written in 1866

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THE PLANTER

THE PLANTER

It is now upwards of thirty years since this genial picture of a veritable "Farmer Prince" was painted—in bold and broad outline, of course. The years that have passed bringing in their train many altered conditions, the most important of all, perhaps, being the replacing of a natural vegetable dye such as indigo by chemically produced substitutes. Probably in a few more years the still remaining features of the Bengal indigo planter's off duty life as depicted by Ali Baba will have quite disapp

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THE EURASIAN

THE EURASIAN

In November, 1879, when this "Study in chiaro-oscuro" was published, renewed attention was being directed to the Eurasian community in India, mainly by the discussions in all circles aroused by the publication of the late Archdeacon Baly's Bengal Social Science Association Paper of May in the same year, which dealt with the employment, inter alia , of Europeans of mixed parentage in India; a question which still engages the anxious consideration of many Indian statesmen. Ali Baba's "Study" is no

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THE VILLAGER AND THE SHIKARRY

THE VILLAGER AND THE SHIKARRY

Both of these sketches are examples of what maybe termed Ali Baba's contemplative mood, the villager's life being revealed to us in all its pathos and interest, otherwise than through an atmosphere of statistics and reports—the daily life of probably two hundred million of the inhabitants of India. Aberigh-Mackay early showed in his book "A Manual of Indian Sport," which, in addition to collecting in small compass lessons taught by many a noted Indian hunter, contains a great deal of original ma

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THE OLD COLONEL AND THE CIVIL SURGEON

THE OLD COLONEL AND THE CIVIL SURGEON

"The Old Colonel" and "The Civil Surgeon," p. 123, are both types of characters that have since practically ceased to exist in India, although fairly numerous in the 1870's. "The Old Colonel," a relic of the great changes caused by the disappearance of many regiments during the Indian Mutiny, and the alterations in Army organisation due to the introduction of the "Staff corps" system, has disappeared from the scene, having long since attained the pensioned rank for which he was ripening when dep

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THE TRAVELLING M.P. AND ALI BABA ALONE

THE TRAVELLING M.P. AND ALI BABA ALONE

"The Travelling M.P." requires no elucidation. He is still with us and has developed greatly during the course of years, in fact, increased facilities of communication between England and India have much increased the species. Happily there are correctives in the shape of adverse votes by constituents which, in some notorious instances at the last Parliamentary elections, have relieved the situation. As to "Ali Baba Alone," nothing could add to the perfect picture which, among other things, good

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THE TEAPOT SERIES

THE TEAPOT SERIES

"SOCIAL DISSECTION" and "THE ORPHAN'S GOOD RESOLUTIONS" These papers when first published in The Bombay Gazette aroused keen speculation as to their authorship. They are as applicable to Society everywhere as to that of Anglo-India. Greatly appreciated all over India, they were, with the others of the series, reprinted in book form and published shortly before the Author's death in a volume, entitled "Serious Reflections by a Political Orphan," which has long been out of print....

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"THE GRYPHON'S ANABASIS"

"THE GRYPHON'S ANABASIS"

The amiable and other idiosyncracies—-personal and official—of the late Sir Lepel Griffin, K.C.S.I., who, born in 1840, died on March 9, 1908, having retired in 1889 from the Bengal Civil Service, which he entered'in 1860 by open competition, and of which he was a distinguished ornament, are very well pourtrayed in this article. An article of very tragic interest, because its publication was the indirect cause, in all human probability, of the death of its Author. This is not the place to recoun

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"SOME OCCULT PHENOMENA"

"SOME OCCULT PHENOMENA"

In the autumn of 1880 many strange stories were afloat in India concerning the studies and practices of what is now widely known as occult science, indulged in and made manifest by the late Madame Blavatsky, the authoress of Isis Unveiled, who claimed to possess in a high degree, by nature, those attributes which spiritualists describe (without professing to understand) as "mediumship". Prominent members of Anglo-Indian society associated themselves with Madame Blavatsky, supported her, and beli

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NOTES

NOTES

[A: Lit. Great Ladies , i.e. Wives of Heads of Departments .] [B: A genus of molluscous animals .] [C: A primary constituent of matter. ] [D: A slightly narcotic mixture .] [E: Throne .] [F: Hindu festivals in honour of the Ganges and the War God respectively .] [G: Household. ] [H: Official messengers. ] [I: Lit. high-handed. ] [J: Fairs. ] [K: Table attendants .] [L: I have assumed the Most Honourable Order of the Bath in commemoration of the happy termination of the Afghan War.—A.B.] [M: Conf

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