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THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL
THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL
CONTENTS INTRODUCTION BY HENRY MORLEY. AUTHOR'S PREFACE. THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. CHAPTER I. The Occasion of the Law Suit. CHAPTER II. How Bull and Frog grew jealous that the Lord Strutt intended to give all his custom to his grandfather Lewis Baboon. CHAPTER III. A Copy of Bull and Frog's Letter to Lord Strutt. CHAPTER IV. How Bull and Frog went to law with Lord Strutt about the premises, and were joined by the rest of the tradesmen. CHAPTER V. The true characters of John Bull, Nic. Frog, and
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INTRODUCTION BY HENRY MORLEY.
INTRODUCTION BY HENRY MORLEY.
This is the book which fixed the name and character of John Bull on the English people. Though in one part of the story he is thin and long nosed, as a result of trouble, generally he is suggested to us as "ruddy and plump, with a pair of cheeks like a trumpeter," an honest tradesman, simple and straightforward, easily cheated; but when he takes his affairs into his own hands, acting with good plain sense, knowing very well what he wants done, and doing it. The book was begun in the year 1712, a
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AUTHOR'S PREFACE.
AUTHOR'S PREFACE.
When I was first called to the office of historiographer to John Bull, he expressed himself to this purpose:—"Sir Humphrey Polesworth,* I know you are a plain dealer; it is for that reason I have chosen you for this important trust; speak the truth and spare not." That I might fulfil those his honourable intentions, I obtained leave to repair to, and attend him in his most secret retirements; and I put the journals of all transactions into a strong box, to be opened at a fitting occasion, after
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CHAPTER I. The Occasion of the Law Suit.
CHAPTER I. The Occasion of the Law Suit.
I need not tell you of the great quarrels that have happened in our neighbourhood since the death of the late Lord Strutt;* how the parson** and a cunning attorney got him to settle his estate upon his cousin Philip Baboon, to the great disappointment of his cousin Esquire South. Some stick not to say that the parson and the attorney forged a will; for which they were well paid by the family of the Baboons. Let that be as it will, it is matter of fact that the honour and estate have continued ev
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CHAPTER II. How Bull and Frog grew jealous that the Lord Strutt intended to give all his custom to his grandfather Lewis Baboon.
CHAPTER II. How Bull and Frog grew jealous that the Lord Strutt intended to give all his custom to his grandfather Lewis Baboon.
It happened unfortunately for the peace of our neighbourhood that this young lord had an old cunning rogue, or, as the Scots call it, a false loon of a grandfather, that one might justly call a Jack-of-all-Trades.* Sometimes you would see him behind his counter selling broadcloth, sometimes measuring linen; next day he would be dealing in merceryware. High heads, ribbons, gloves, fans, and lace he understood to a nicety. Charles Mather could not bubble a young beau better with a toy; nay, he wou
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CHAPTER III. A Copy of Bull and Frog's Letter to Lord Strutt.
CHAPTER III. A Copy of Bull and Frog's Letter to Lord Strutt.
My Lord,—I suppose your lordship knows that the Bulls and the Frogs have served the Lord Strutts with all sorts of draperyware time out of mind. And whereas we are jealous, not without reason, that your lordship intends henceforth to buy of your grandsire old Lewis Baboon, this is to inform your lordship that this proceeding does not suit with the circumstances of our families, who have lived and made a good figure in the world by the generosity of the Lord Strutts. Therefore we think fit to acq
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CHAPTER IV. How Bull and Frog went to law with Lord Strutt about the premises, and were joined by the rest of the tradesmen.
CHAPTER IV. How Bull and Frog went to law with Lord Strutt about the premises, and were joined by the rest of the tradesmen.
All endeavours of accommodation between Lord Strutt and his drapers proved vain. Jealousies increased, and, indeed, it was rumoured abroad that Lord Strutt had bespoke his new liveries of old Lewis Baboon. This coming to Mrs. Bull's ears, when John Bull came home, he found all his family in an uproar. Mrs. Bull, you must know, was very apt to be choleric. "You sot," says she, "you loiter about alehouses and taverns, spend your time at billiards, ninepins, or puppet-shows, or flaunt about the str
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CHAPTER V. The true characters of John Bull, Nic. Frog, and Hocus.*
CHAPTER V. The true characters of John Bull, Nic. Frog, and Hocus.*
For the better understanding the following history the reader ought to know that Bull, in the main, was an honest, plain-dealing fellow, choleric, bold, and of a very unconstant temper; he dreaded not old Lewis either at back-sword, single falchion, or cudgel-play; but then he was very apt to quarrel with his best friends, especially if they pretended to govern him. If you flattered him you might lead him like a child. John's temper depended very much upon the air; his spirits rose and fell with
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CHAPTER VI. Of the various success of the Lawsuit.*
CHAPTER VI. Of the various success of the Lawsuit.*
Law is a bottomless pit; it is a cormorant, a harpy, that devours everything. John Bull was flattered by the lawyers that his suit would not last above a year or two at most; that before that time he would be in quiet possession of his business; yet ten long years did Hocus steer his cause through all the meanders of the law and all the courts. No skill, no address was wanting, and, to say truth, John did not starve the cause; there wanted not yellowboys to fee counsel, hire witnesses, and bribe
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CHAPTER VII. How John Bull was so mightily pleased with his success that he was going to leave off his trade and turn Lawyer.
CHAPTER VII. How John Bull was so mightily pleased with his success that he was going to leave off his trade and turn Lawyer.
It is wisely observed by a great philosopher that habit is a second nature. This was verified in the case of John Bull, who, from an honest and plain tradesman, had got such a haunt about the Courts of Justice, and such a jargon of law words, that he concluded himself as able a lawyer as any that pleaded at the bar or sat on the bench. He was overheard one day talking to himself after this manner: "How capriciously does fate or chance dispose of mankind. How seldom is that business allotted to a
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CHAPTER VIII. How John discovered that Hocus had an Intrigue with his Wife;* and what followed thereupon.
CHAPTER VIII. How John discovered that Hocus had an Intrigue with his Wife;* and what followed thereupon.
John had not run on a madding so long had it not been for an extravagant wife, whom Hocus perceiving John to be fond of, was resolved to win over to his side. It is a true saying, that the last man of the parish that knows of his cuckoldom is himself. It was observed by all the neighbourhood that Hocus had dealings with John's wife that were not so much for his honour; but this was perceived by John a little too late: she was a luxurious jade, loved splendid equipages, plays, treats and balls, d
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CHAPTER IX. How some Quacks undertook to cure Mrs. Bull of her ulcer.*
CHAPTER IX. How some Quacks undertook to cure Mrs. Bull of her ulcer.*
There is nothing so impossible in Nature but mountebanks will undertake; nothing so incredible but they will affirm: Mrs. Bull's condition was looked upon as desperate by all the men of art; but there were those that bragged they had an infallible ointment and plaister, which being applied to the sore, would cure it in a few days; at the same time they would give her a pill that would purge off all her bad humours, sweeten her blood, and rectify her disturbed imagination. In spite of all applica
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CHAPTER X. Of John Bull's second Wife, and the good Advice that she gave him.*
CHAPTER X. Of John Bull's second Wife, and the good Advice that she gave him.*
John quickly got the better of his grief, and, seeing that neither his constitution nor the affairs of his family, could permit him to live in an unmarried state, he resolved to get him another wife; a cousin of his last wife's was proposed, but John would have no more of the breed. In short, he wedded a sober country gentlewoman, of a good family and a plentiful fortune, the reverse of the other in her temper; not but that she loved money, for she was saving, and applied her fortune to pay John
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CHAPTER XI. How John looked over his Attorney's Bill.*
CHAPTER XI. How John looked over his Attorney's Bill.*
When John first brought out the bills, the surprise of all the family was unexpressible at the prodigious dimensions of them; they would have measured with the best bale of cloth in John's shop. Fees to judges, puny judges, clerks, prothonotaries, philisers, chirographers, under-clerks, proclamators, counsel, witnesses, jurymen, marshals, tipstaffs, criers, porters; for enrollings, exemplifications, bails, vouchers, returns, caveats, examinations, filings of words, entries, declarations, replica
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CHAPTER XII. How John grew angry, and resolved to accept a Composition; and what Methods were practised by the Lawyers for keeping him from it.*
CHAPTER XII. How John grew angry, and resolved to accept a Composition; and what Methods were practised by the Lawyers for keeping him from it.*
Well might the learned Daniel Burgess say, "That a lawsuit is a suit for life. He that sows his grain upon marble will have many a hungry belly before harvest." This John felt by woeful experience. John's cause was a good milch cow, and many a man subsisted his family out of it. However, John began to think it high time to look about him. He had a cousin in the country, one Sir Roger Bold, whose predecessors had been bred up to the law, and knew as much of it as anybody; but having left off the
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CHAPTER XIII. Mrs. Bull's vindication of the indispensable duty incumbent upon Wives in case of the Tyranny, Infidelity, or Insufficiency of Husbands;
CHAPTER XIII. Mrs. Bull's vindication of the indispensable duty incumbent upon Wives in case of the Tyranny, Infidelity, or Insufficiency of Husbands;
being a full Answer to the Doctor's Sermon against Adultery.* John found daily fresh proofs of the infidelity and bad designs of his deceased wife; amongst other things, one day looking over his cabinet, he found the following paper:— "It is evident that matrimony is founded upon an original contract, whereby the wife makes over the right she has by the law of Nature in favour of the husband, by which he acquires the property of all her posterity. But, then, the obligation is mutual; and where t
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CHAPTER XIV. The two great Parties of Wives, the Devotos and the Hitts.*
CHAPTER XIV. The two great Parties of Wives, the Devotos and the Hitts.*
The doctrine of unlimited fidelity in wives was universally espoused by all husbands, who went about the country and made the wives sign papers signifying their utter detestation and abhorrence of Mrs. Bull's wicked doctrine of the indispensable duty of change. Some yielded, others refused to part with their native liberty, which gave rise to two great parties amongst the wives, the Devotos and the Hitts. Though, it must be owned, the distinction was more nominal than real; for the Devotos would
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CHAPTER XV. An Account of the Conference between Mrs. Bull and Don Diego.*
CHAPTER XV. An Account of the Conference between Mrs. Bull and Don Diego.*
The lawyers, as their last effort to put off the composition, sent Don Diego to John. Don Diego was a very worthy gentleman, a friend to John, his mother, and present wife, and, therefore, supposed to have some influence over her. He had been ill used himself by John's lawyers, but because of some animosity to Sir Roger was against the composition. The conference between him and Mrs. Bull was word for word as follows:— DON DIEGO.—Is it possible, cousin Bull, that you can forget the honourable ma
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CHAPTER XVI. How the guardians of the deceased Mrs. Bull's three daughters came to John, and what advice they gave him; wherein is briefly treated the characters of the three daughters. Also John Bull's answer to the three guardians.*
CHAPTER XVI. How the guardians of the deceased Mrs. Bull's three daughters came to John, and what advice they gave him; wherein is briefly treated the characters of the three daughters. Also John Bull's answer to the three guardians.*
I told you in a former chapter that Mrs. Bull, before she departed this life, had blessed John with three daughters. I need not here repeat their names, neither would I willingly use any scandalous reflections upon young ladies, whose reputations ought to be very tenderly handled; but the characters of these were so well known in the neighbourhood, that it is doing them no injury to make a short description of them. The eldest* was a termagant, imperious, prodigal, lewd, profligate wench, as eve
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CHAPTER XVII. Esquire South's Message and Letter to Mrs. Bull.*
CHAPTER XVII. Esquire South's Message and Letter to Mrs. Bull.*
The arguments used by Hocus and the rest of the guardians had hitherto proved insufficient. John and his wife could not be persuaded to bear the expense of Esquire South's lawsuit. They thought it reasonable that, since he was to have the honour and advantage, he should bear the greatest share of the charges, and retrench what he lost to sharpers and spent upon country dances and puppet plays to apply it to that use. This was not very grateful to the esquire; therefore, as the last experiment, h
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THE PUBLISHER'S PREFACE.
THE PUBLISHER'S PREFACE.
The world is much indebted to the famous Sir Humphry Polesworth for his ingenious and impartial account of John Bull's lawsuit. Yet there is just cause of complaint against him, in that he relates it only by parcels, and won't give us the whole work. This forces me, who am only the publisher, to bespeak the assistance of his friends and acquaintance to engage him to lay aside that stingey humour and gratify the curiosity of the public at once. He pleads in excuse that they are only private memoi
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CHAPTER I. The Character of John Bull's Mother.*
CHAPTER I. The Character of John Bull's Mother.*
John had a mother whom he loved and honoured extremely, a discreet, grave, sober, good-conditioned, cleanly old gentlewoman as ever lived. She was none of your cross-grained, termagant, scolding jades that one had as good be hanged as live in the house with, such as are always censuring the conduct and telling scandalous stories of their neighbours, extolling their own good qualities and undervaluing those of others. On the contrary, she was of a meek spirit, and, as she was strictly virtuous he
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CHAPTER II. The Character of John Bull's Sister Peg,* with the Quarrels that happened between Master and Miss in their Childhood.
CHAPTER II. The Character of John Bull's Sister Peg,* with the Quarrels that happened between Master and Miss in their Childhood.
John had a sister, a poor girl that had been starved at nurse. Anybody would have guessed Miss to have been bred up under the influence of a cruel stepdame, and John to be the fondling of a tender mother. John looked ruddy and plump, with a pair of cheeks like a trumpeter; Miss looked pale and wan, as if she had the green sickness; and no wonder, for John was the darling: he had all the good bits, was crammed with good pullet, chicken, pig, goose, and capon; while Miss had only a little oatmeal
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CHAPTER III. Jack's Charms,* or the Method by which he gained Peg's Heart.
CHAPTER III. Jack's Charms,* or the Method by which he gained Peg's Heart.
In the first place, Jack was a very young fellow, by much the youngest of the three brothers, and people, indeed, wondered how such a young upstart jackanapes should grow so pert and saucy, and take so much upon him. Jack bragged of greater abilities than other men. He was well gifted, as he pretended: I need not tell you what secret influence that has upon the ladies. Jack had a most scandalous tongue, and persuaded Peg that all mankind, besides himself, were plagued by that scarlet-faced woman
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CHAPTER IV. How the relations reconciled John and his sister Peg, and what return Peg made to John's message.*
CHAPTER IV. How the relations reconciled John and his sister Peg, and what return Peg made to John's message.*
John Bull, otherwise a good-natured man, was very hard-hearted to his sister Peg, chiefly from an aversion he had conceived in his infancy. While he flourished, kept a warm house, and drove a plentiful trade, poor Peg was forced to go hawking and peddling about the streets selling knives, scissors, and shoe-buckles; now and then carried a basket of fish to the market; sewed, spun, and knit for a livelihood, till her fingers' ends were sore; and when she could not get bread for her family, she wa
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CHAPTER V. Of some Quarrels that happened after Peg was taken into the Family.*
CHAPTER V. Of some Quarrels that happened after Peg was taken into the Family.*
It is an old observation that the quarrels of relations are harder to reconcile than any other; injuries from friends fret and gall more, and the memory of them is not so easily obliterated. This is cunningly represented by one of your old sages called Aesop, in the story of the bird that was grieved extremely at being wounded with an arrow feathered with his own wing; as also of the oak that let many a heavy groan when he was cleft with a wedge of his own timber. There was no man in the world l
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CHAPTER VI. The conversation between John Bull and his wife.*
CHAPTER VI. The conversation between John Bull and his wife.*
MRS. BULL.—Though our affairs, honey, are in a bad condition, I have a better opinion of them since you seemed to be convinced of the ill course you have been in, and are resolved to submit to proper remedies. But when I consider your immense debts, your foolish bargains, and the general disorder of your business, I have a curiosity to know what fate or chance has brought you into this condition. JOHN BULL.—I wish you would talk of some other subject, the thoughts of it makes me mad; our family
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CHAPTER VII. Of the hard shifts Mrs. Bull was put to preserve the Manor of Bullock's Hatch, with Sir Roger's method to keep off importunate duns.*
CHAPTER VII. Of the hard shifts Mrs. Bull was put to preserve the Manor of Bullock's Hatch, with Sir Roger's method to keep off importunate duns.*
As John Bull and his wife were talking together they were surprised with a sudden knocking at the door. "Those wicked scriveners and lawyers, no doubt," quoth John; and so it was, some asking for the money he owed, and others warning to prepare for the approaching term. "What a cursed life do I lead!" quoth John; "debt is like deadly sin. For God's sake, Sir Roger, get me rid of the fellows." "I'll warrant you," quoth Sir Roger; "leave them to me." And, indeed, it was pleasant enough to observe
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CHAPTER VIII. A continuation of the conversation betwixt John Bull and his wife.
CHAPTER VIII. A continuation of the conversation betwixt John Bull and his wife.
MRS. BULL.—It is a most sad life we lead, my dear, to be so teazed, paying interest for old debts, and still contracting new ones. However, I don't blame you for vindicating your honour and chastising old Lewis. To curb the insolent, protect the oppressed, recover one's own, and defend what one has, are good effects of the law. The only thing I want to know is how you came to make an end of your money before you finished your suit. JOHN BULL.—I was told by the learned in the law that my suit sto
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A Copy* of Nic. Frog's Letter to John Bull.
A Copy* of Nic. Frog's Letter to John Bull.
[John Bull reads.] FRIEND JOHN,—What schellum is it that makes thee jealous of thy old friend Nicholas? Hast thou forgot how some years ago he took thee out of the sponging-house?** ['Tis true, my friend Nic. did so, and I thank him; but he made me pay a swinging reckoning.] Thou beginnest now to repent thy bargain that thou wast so fond of; and, if thou durst, would forswear thy own hand and seal. Thou sayest that thou hast purchased me too great an estate already, when, at the same time, thou
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CHAPTER X. Of some extraordinary Things* that passed at the "Salutation" Tavern, in the Conference between Bull, Frog, Esquire South, and Lewis
CHAPTER X. Of some extraordinary Things* that passed at the "Salutation" Tavern, in the Conference between Bull, Frog, Esquire South, and Lewis
Baboon. Frog had given his word that he would meet the above-mentioned company at the "Salutation," to talk of this agreement. Though he durst not directly break his appointment, he made many a shuffling excuse: one time he pretended to be seized with the gout in his right knee; then he got a great cold, that had struck him deaf of one ear; afterwards two of his coach-horses fell sick, and he durst not go by water, for fear of catching an ague. John would take no excuse, but hurried him away. "C
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CHAPTER XI.* The apprehending, examination, and imprisonment of Jack for suspicion of poisoning.
CHAPTER XI.* The apprehending, examination, and imprisonment of Jack for suspicion of poisoning.
The attentive reader cannot have forgot that the story of Van Ptschirnsooker's powder was interrupted by a message from Frog. I have a natural compassion for curiosity, being much troubled with the distemper myself; therefore to gratify that uneasy itching sensation in my reader, I have procured the following account of that matter. Van Ptschirnsooker came off (as rogues usually do upon such occasions) by peaching his partner; and being extremely forward to bring him to the gallows, Jack* was ac
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CHAPTER XII. How Jack's friends came to visit him in prison, and what advice they gave him.
CHAPTER XII. How Jack's friends came to visit him in prison, and what advice they gave him.
Jack hitherto had passed in the world for a poor, simple, well-meaning, half-witted, crack-brained fellow. People were strangely surprised to find him in such a roguery—that he should disguise himself under a false name, hire himself out for a servant to an old gentlewoman, only for an opportunity to poison her. They said that it was more generous to profess open enmity than under a profound dissimulation to be guilty of such a scandalous breach of trust, and of the sacred rights of hospitality;
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CHAPTER XIII. How Jack hanged himself up by the persuasion of his friends, who broke their words, and left his neck in the noose.
CHAPTER XIII. How Jack hanged himself up by the persuasion of his friends, who broke their words, and left his neck in the noose.
Jack was a professed enemy to implicit faith, and yet I dare say it was never more strongly exerted nor more basely abused than upon this occasion. He was now, with his old friends, in the state of a poor disbanded officer after a peace, or rather a wounded soldier after a battle; like an old favourite of a cunning Minister after the job is over, or a decayed beauty to a cloyed lover in quest of new game, or like a hundred such things that one sees every day. There were new intrigues, new views,
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During the time of the foregoing transactions, Don Diego was entertaining John Bull.
During the time of the foregoing transactions, Don Diego was entertaining John Bull.
DON DIEGO.—I hope, sir, this day's proceeding will convince you of the sincerity of your old friend Diego, and the treachery of Sir Roger. JOHN BULL.—What's the matter now? DON DIEGO.—You have been endeavouring, for several years, to have justice done upon that rogue Jack, but, what through the remissness of constables, justices, and packed juries, he has always found the means to escape. JOHN BULL.—What then? DON DIEGO.—Consider, then, who is your best friend: he that would have brought him to
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CHAPTER XV. The sequel of the meeting at the "Salutation."*
CHAPTER XV. The sequel of the meeting at the "Salutation."*
Where I think I left John Bull, sitting between Nic. Frog and Lewis Baboon, with his arms akimbo, in great concern to keep Lewis and Nic. asunder. As watchful as he was, Nic. found the means now and then to steal a whisper, and by a cleanly conveyance under the table to slip a short note into Lewis's hand, which Lewis as slyly put into John's pocket, with a pinch or a jog to warn him what he was about. John had the curiosity to retire into a corner to peruse those billets doux* of Nic.'s, wherei
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JOHN BULL.—During this general cessation of talk, what if you and I, Nic., should inquire how money matters stand between us?
JOHN BULL.—During this general cessation of talk, what if you and I, Nic., should inquire how money matters stand between us?
NIC. FROG.—With all my heart; I love exact dealing. And let Hocus audit; he knows how the money was disbursed. JOHN BULL.—I am not much for that at present; we'll settle it between ourselves. Fair and square, Nic., keeps friends together. There have been laid out in this lawsuit, at one time, 36,000 pounds and 40,000 crowns. In some cases I, in others you, bear the greatest proportion. NIC FROG.—Right; I pay three-fifths of the greatest number, and you pay two-thirds of the lesser number. I thin
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CHAPTER XVII. How John Bull found all his Family in an Uproar at Home.*
CHAPTER XVII. How John Bull found all his Family in an Uproar at Home.*
Nic. Frog, who thought of nothing but carrying John to the market, and there disposing of him as his own proper goods, was mad to find that John thought himself now of age to look after his own affairs. He resolved to traverse this new project, and to make him uneasy in his own family. He had corrupted or deluded most of his servants into the most extravagant conceits in the world: that their master was run mad, and wore a dagger in one pocket and poison in the other; that he had sold his wife a
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CHAPTER XVIII. How Lewis Baboon came to visit John Bull, and what passed between them. *
CHAPTER XVIII. How Lewis Baboon came to visit John Bull, and what passed between them. *
I think it is but ingenuous to acquaint the reader that this chapter was not wrote by Sir Humphrey himself, but by another very able pen of the university of Grub Street. John had, by some good instructions given him by Sir Roger, got the better of his choleric temper, and wrought himself up to a great steadiness of mind to pursue his own interest through all impediments that were thrown in the way. He began to leave off some of his old acquaintance, his roaring and bullying about the streets. H
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CHAPTER XIX. Nic. Frog's letter to John Bull: wherein he endeavours to vindicate all his conduct, with relation to John Bull and the lawsuit.
CHAPTER XIX. Nic. Frog's letter to John Bull: wherein he endeavours to vindicate all his conduct, with relation to John Bull and the lawsuit.
Nic. perceived now that his Cully had eloped, that John intended henceforth to deal without a broker; but he was resolved to leave no stone unturned to cover his bubble. Amongst other artifices he wrote a most obliging letter, which he sent him printed in a fair character. "DEAR FRIEND,—When I consider the late ill-usage I have met with from you, I was reflecting what it was that could provoke you to it, but upon a narrow inspection into my conduct, I can find nothing to reproach myself with but
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CHAPTER XX. The discourse that passed between Nic. Frog and Esquire South, which John Bull overheard.*
CHAPTER XX. The discourse that passed between Nic. Frog and Esquire South, which John Bull overheard.*
John thought every minute a year till he got into Ecclesdown Castle; he repairs to the "Salutation" with a design to break the matter gently to his partners. Before he entered he overheard Nic. and the Esquire in a very pleasant conference. ESQUIRE SOUTH.—Oh, the ingratitude and injustice of mankind! That John Bull, whom I have honoured with my friendship and protection so long, should flinch at last, and pretend that he can disburse no more money for me! that the family of the Souths, by his sn
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CHAPTER XXI. The rest of Nic.'s fetches to keep John out of Ecclesdown Castle.*
CHAPTER XXI. The rest of Nic.'s fetches to keep John out of Ecclesdown Castle.*
When Nic. could not dissuade John by argument, he tried to move his pity; he pretended to be sick and like to die; that he should leave his wife and children in a starving condition, if John did abandon him; that he was hardly able to crawl about the room, far less capable to look after such a troublesome business as this lawsuit, and therefore begged that his good friend would not leave him. When he saw that John was still inexorable, he pulled out a case-knife, with which he used to snicker-sn
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CHAPTER XXII. Of the great joy that John expressed when he got possession of Ecclesdown.*
CHAPTER XXII. Of the great joy that John expressed when he got possession of Ecclesdown.*
When John had got into his castle he seemed like Ulysses upon his plank after he had been well soused in salt water, who, as Homer says, was as glad as a judge going to sit down to dinner after hearing a long cause upon the bench. I daresay John Bull's joy was equal to that of either of the two; he skipped from room to room, ran up-stairs and down-stairs, from the kitchen to the garrets, and from the garrets to the kitchen; he peeped into every cranny; sometimes he admired the beauty of the arch
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POSTSCRIPT.
POSTSCRIPT.
It has been disputed amongst the literati of Grub Street whether Sir Humphry proceeded any farther into the history of John Bull. By diligent inquiry we have found the titles of some chapters, which appear to be a continuation of it, and are as follow:— CHAP. I.—How John was made angry with the Articles of Agreement. How he kicked the Parchment through the House, up-stairs and down-stairs, and put himself in a great Heat thereby. CHAP. II.—How in his Passion he was going to cut off Sir Roger's h
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