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MR. OSEBA’SLAST DISCOVERY.
MR. OSEBA’SLAST DISCOVERY.
By GEO. W. BELL (Col. BELL, Seven Years U.S. Consul, At Sydney, Australia). The conspicuous happiness and prosperity of a people, are the best evidences of benign rule. WELLINGTON, N.Z.: THE NEW ZEALAND TIMES CO., LTD., PRINTERS AND PUBLISHERS. 1904. To the People of New Zealand, the most advanced community among men, the Author dedicates these erratic pages.......
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ERRATA.
ERRATA.
Page 87 , line 27, read “manor,” not “manner.” Page 150 , line 18, “£168,849,381,” not “£120,981,599.”—Later Year Book. An experienced and painstaking friend has called my attention to several typographical errors, and a few immaterial ones in grammar. These faults I deeply regret, but considering my own imperfections, I am glad they are so few and so immaterial. “Teach me to feel another’s woe, To hide the fault I see. That mercy I to others show, That mercy show to me.”...
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A NOTE.
A NOTE.
Many regard the usual “preface” to a book as of questionable value, but custom may justify the continuance of its use. I had long been a student of Anglo-Saxon history, but until I went to Australia in 1893, I had seen little hope for a realisation of the higher aspirations of the race. Being an individualist, a democrat of democrats, I hold that the unit of society is its basic factor, and, while in those far-off lands, I saw a vague recognition of this truth, I also saw a mergence of democracy
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INCONCLUSIVE ALLUSIONS.
INCONCLUSIVE ALLUSIONS.
This , being a true story, with the slight deviations necessary to the preservation of a due sense of proportion, it is deemed proper to casually introduce the characters on whom we must chiefly rely for the truthfulness or otherwise, of a most romantic adventure. In such an introduction, the Editor, or compiler—the “I” in these pages—necessarily appears, but to the Chronicler himself, who has no “poetic license,” we must rely for the correctness of the recital. Though without my aid this strang
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A FRIEND IN NEED.
A FRIEND IN NEED.
Well, my reader, while Leo Bergin is below, striving to compromise with his digestion, I will relate to you some of his peculiarities, that you may be prepared for his wonderful recital. It was January 10th, 1898, as he entered my room on Great Russell Street, just opposite the British Museum, London, that I first saw him. He knocked at my door, gently; he entered my room, quietly; he sat down familiarly, and he opened the interview, promptly. I will not say Leo Bergin, on this occasion, was not
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TEMPESTUOUS.
TEMPESTUOUS.
The wind increased in violence. It was a wild night. The blue Mediterranean was angry, but the good ship plunged ahead like a defiant monster. For two days more, the decks were unoccupied save by the careless sailors. The tables looked “lonesome,” for the storm still raged in fury. The hours and the days, that seemed like weeks and months, wore away. We rounded Cape Vincent, when immediately the wind ceased, the sea was calm, the ship rode smoothly, the air was balmy, and the passengers, like a
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LEO BERGIN “TURNS UP.”
LEO BERGIN “TURNS UP.”
Two years had passed, and with all my professions of interest and regard, for a full year of that time Leo Bergin had not entered my mind, and for the whole two years, he had occupied very little of my thoughts. As a fact, save on one occasion when D. J. Folder, in forgiving jest told me that he needed a man, and asked if I could recommend a young man with “talent, good looks and ambition,” for the position, I do not remember having thought of Leo Bergin. Absence defaces memory. Ah! how quickly
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ADJUSTING THE CURTAINS.
ADJUSTING THE CURTAINS.
Leo Bergin, with neatness and despatch, was comfortably buried, myself being chief mourner, and “after life’s fitful fever he sleeps well.” I was impatient to know the contents of the package, but desiring to enjoy perfect leisure, while unravelling the mystery so intensified by Leo’s earnestness, I reluctantly laid it away, to wait my arrival in London. Time passed. I was back at my old quarters in Great Russell Street, London. The weather was so chill, dark, and foggy, that, at four, I had lig
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A STRANGE STORY.
A STRANGE STORY.
“To-morrow” has come. The outside world seems glad to be alive. I—the Editor—accustomed to mental ease and physical comfort, am confronted with perplexing duties. My bills are paid, my health is good, and my mind is clear, but, confound the idea of work! I never liked work, and I fear even custom will not reconcile me to drudgery. But duty calls, and, so far, duty has never called upon me in vain. I—the Editor, remember—am ashamed that I forgot Leo Bergin for two long years; I am more ashamed th
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A PRETTY TALE.
A PRETTY TALE.
“Then he related a tradition among his people, reciting that in the far distant past—at [Pg 32] [Pg 33] a time probably when the polar regions were rather temperate, and most of the human race were yet in barbarism—a small tribe of peacefully disposed people inhabited a fertile region in an open world, where the horizon stretched away alike in all directions. Mr. T. E. Donne, Superintendent of Tourist and Health Resorts; Secretary of Department of Industry and Commerce; Secretary for New Zealand
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BOILING IT DOWN.
BOILING IT DOWN.
Well, that is rich! Leo had to cut it short, but he saved me a lot of trouble. Let’s see. Here is a lot of interesting details—interesting if life were not so short—but I’ll have to “boil it down,” for “spice” is the word. The two adventurers left the Irene at Amsterdam, ran to Hamburg, where they remained over winter, and being joined by Oseba’s fellow-adventurers, they took a small steamer sent as a supply ship for a polar party “frozen up” in the seas north of Spitzbergen. Disembarking, they
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FIRST “DISCOVERY.” SIZING UP AH SIN, AND LU.
FIRST “DISCOVERY.” SIZING UP AH SIN, AND LU.
The sage Oseba, after locating China on the globe, threw a view of the map of the Empire on the wall. He explained that this country “embraced” 4,000,000 square miles of the surface of Oliffa, and contained about 400,000,000 “souls,” or nearly one-third of all the Outeroos. But this includes the Mandarins, who are not supposed to have “souls.” With amusing speech, he reviewed the history, the social, political, and industrial conditions of this “peculiar” people. It was in China that Oseba becam
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EUROPE, SOMEWHAT “DISCOVERED.”
EUROPE, SOMEWHAT “DISCOVERED.”
The globe was so adjusted as to give a perfect view of the Continent of Europe, and, in interesting speech, were the countries and their peoples described. Referring to the influence of environment, the orator explained how the comparative smallness of this continent, the fertility of the soil, the variety of plant and animal life, the mountains, and plains, and indented shore lines, with enormous stretch of water-front, together with its extensive river systems and healthful, but erratic climat
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THE BRITISH ISLES DISCOVERED.
THE BRITISH ISLES DISCOVERED.
At this stage of the proceedings the Sage Oseba seemed to be in fine form and in most cheerful spirits. He remarked that he was now to give his people a brief view of the “Country of Countries,” an island region, just off the humming hive of uniformed Europe. Here the globe revolved until the British Isles were conspicuously in view. “This,” said Oseba, “of all the fertile dirt on the surface of Oliffa, is the most interesting. This, among the countries of the Outeroos, is the classic land of li
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“DARKEST AFRICA” FINALLY DISCOVERED.
“DARKEST AFRICA” FINALLY DISCOVERED.
Oseba then turned his instruments on Africa. He told his audience that while along the fringe of this half-mythical land there were glimpses of a very ancient movement, the vast interior, until almost yesterday, was a veritable terra incognito , and to-day it is not easy to separate the grain of truth concerning its history from the cartload of fiction. But Britain was now rolling up the sombre curtain, and opening the doors of her fabulous treasure-house that the “grateful” (?) nations might en
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HUMAN RIGHTS.
HUMAN RIGHTS.
Oh! sacred rights of man, ordained of God, yet only won by blood, and tears, and toil. Here there was a digression, and an essay on “the rights of man,” for the poetess Vauline inquired by what “right” the Europeans were “portioning out Africa,” if that country had already 150,000,000 people? “This,” said the sage Oseba, as he moved his eyes from his admiring critic to his audience, “this is a pertinent question; but remember, my children, most of the inhabitants of Africa are black—they are ver
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SPANISH AMERICA “DISCOVERED.”
SPANISH AMERICA “DISCOVERED.”
The orator here hesitated, then threw the map of what he termed “Spanish America” on the screen. “This, my children,” said he, “is Spanish America, with an area—including Central America and Mexico—of over 8,000,000 square miles, and a population of about 50,000,000 souls. This is a ‘new’ country, called ‘new’ by the Outeroos because it had been little improved since the old occupiers were blessed and sent to heaven.” The orator claimed that, in forest, in soil, in mineral wealth, and in all the
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A TEMPEST.
A TEMPEST.
Here the sage amusingly described a Spanish-American revolution. He said:— “When the young men of any city become weary with the more common excitements, the theatre and the bullfight, they organise a ‘revolution.’ For this ‘outing’ they call together their friends, arm themselves, establish a camp on the outlying hills, and make ready for ‘slaughter.’ The ‘loyalists’—salaried clerks usually, with a few hangers-on—rush out to meet the belligerents, and approach to within a reasonably safe distan
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AMERICA “DISCOVERED.”
AMERICA “DISCOVERED.”
Oseba said he was now to return to rather favourite pastures. He was now to review the situation of a country unanimously admitted, by all its millions of proud and patriotic people, to be the “greatest country,” not only on this earth, but in the Universe—and this, of course, meant America. Leo Bergin, having been born in America, seemed to be “at home” to these graceful compliments. Oseba said that before he reached America, that country had been somewhat “discovered” by a Mr. Morgan, who had
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A DIGRESSION.
A DIGRESSION.
The notes indicate that Mr. Oseba was deeply affected by the revelations of his “travelling companion.” He need not despair. This race has been rather prominently before the footlights for some time, and it is of such a mixed and sturdy stock that it seems endowed with the spirit, if not of “perpetual,” at least, of long-continued youth. The Anglo-Saxon has not yet filled his mission, and surely America should not, so early in its unparalleled career, betray evidence of decadence. While “grow qu
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AUSTRALASIA DISCOVERED.
AUSTRALASIA DISCOVERED.
And they sent ships to distant lands, and brought gold, and copper, and fine wool, and the merchants made much gains. At this juncture the loved and lost Leo Bergin notes a short intermission, for, as there is everywhere a limit to human endurance, Oseba had grown weary. During the recess, the notes inform us, there were many whisperings, many doubtful shakes of the head, and many real fears expressed as to results regarding the conclusions of the report. “We have gone over the globe,” said a le
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ZELANIA—MR. OSEBA’S LAST DISCOVERY.
ZELANIA—MR. OSEBA’S LAST DISCOVERY.
Blue pencilling several eloquent pages, I am here constrained to use the discretion generously given me, by choosing for myself the methods of introducing the scenes of Mr. Oseba’s last discovery. Hinemoa’s Bath, of Legendary Fame It has been previously mentioned that Leo Bergin had “done newspaper work in New Zealand,” and here seems a proper place to re-refer to this pleasing fact. Leo notes that, pending a re-arrangement of the stage, there was a brief intermission, and later, that having bec
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LEO BERGIN’S REVERIE.
LEO BERGIN’S REVERIE.
Sweet home, adieu! With vent’rous crew, I’m sailing o’er the ocean blue. As on we leap, the eye doth sweep The curving borders of the deep. The days glide by, I gaze and sigh, But nought appears, save sea and sky. decorative break Behold! there rise, ’neath Southern skies, Green Isles that greet our glad surprise. Oh! lovely Isles, where Nature smiles, And beckons to the “afterwhiles.” Here fancy drew, from old and new, To give the soul extended view. With air so mild, and scenery wild, The Fate
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IN SILENT WONDER.
IN SILENT WONDER.
“In scenic wonders, these playful Isles present a peculiar series of thrilling charms, which seem to satisfy best the yearnings of those who have visited other lands. “In geography, Zelania is beautifully isolated, as every beach is washed by more than a thousand miles of sea. Its borders are so erratic, so indented by bays, harbors, and inlets, that its shore-lines are over 4,000 miles in extent, and, in altitude, it reaches from the sea-shore to the clouds. “Configuratively, it is milder than
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A DIGRESSION.
A DIGRESSION.
“Now, my children,” said Oseba, “permit me to make a few observations based upon my study among the Outeroos, which will apply to the country under review. “Remember, all terms expressing quality—such as good and evil, right and wrong, truth and error—are relative, and, as affecting men, the definition to each individual depends upon his environment. As a fact, the rules expressing these ideas are largely fictions established by society for its own purpose, but, in their general application, the
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BACK TO ZELANIA.
BACK TO ZELANIA.
“But let us, my children,” Oseba continued, “return to Zelania, Nature’s choicest, last, and most successful effort, and to where these principles apply. In her geographical situation, her configuration, her soil and climate, she offers man everything to toughen the fibre, to quicken the perception, and to strengthen the imagination. “She has the climate, the fertility, the production, the picturesqueness of Greece, and all in greater variety.” Oseba here led his audience into a most interesting
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THE MAORIS “DISCOVERED.”
THE MAORIS “DISCOVERED.”
“And the great god Morduch heaved the earth from its watery bed, and peopled its shores according to his will.” As Oseba evidently meant to proceed upon his discourse in some predesigned order, he here gave some interesting attention to the Maoris, the natives—or, so-called, aboriginals—of New Zealand. The orator, in his inimitable manner, described the Maoris with amusing detail. He calls them a fine race of romantic savages, whose physique had undoubtedly been greatly improved by the winning s
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APPROPRIATING A WORLD.
APPROPRIATING A WORLD.
All being in readiness, a number of very perfect maps were thrown on the canvas, showing the plains, valleys, mountains, lakes, and rivers of Zelania, with the nature of the production of each island; and a careful and detailed description as to location and resources was given by the orator. Then, calling the attention of his audience, Oseba notified the people that he was now reaching the closing chapter of his report, or in our refined phrase he was on “the home stretch.” He said:— “Now, my c
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ZELANIA’S GREETING.
ZELANIA’S GREETING.
Zelania’s stores are rich in wine, Zelania’s air is sweet with flowers, Zelania’s sons are rich in kine, Zelania’s maidens wile the hours, ’Mid scenes of matchless beauty. Zelania’s valleys waive with grain, Zelania’s hills are white with sheep, Zelania’s sons are skilled in gain, Zelania’s maidens ever keep The path that leads to duty. Zelania’s crown is rich and rare, Zelania’s laws are wise and free, Zelania’s sons and daughters care, Zelania’s door to ever see Swung open wide, and then— Zela
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UTILITARIAN.
UTILITARIAN.
Here the notes record that there had been a half-hour’s recess, during which Leo Bergin mentions that he enjoyed a pleasant chat with the poetess Vauline, that she was very charmingly inquisitive, and that while he confessed his lack of eloquence as compared with that of Oseba, he thought Zelania had lost nothing through his modesty. Leo remarks that he showed the poetess many photos of the outer world, especially some fine ones of Zelania—among others, some of the leading statesmen and jurists—
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SOME THAT ADAM NAMED.
SOME THAT ADAM NAMED.
“And God made the beasts of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and everything that creepeth upon the earth after his kind, and God saw that it was good.” But only a few miserable little “creeping things” got to Zelania, until the British brought others. Oseba, in a review of the “animal business,” remarked, that as all animals—save the long-wooled goat herded on the desert and mountain sides—had long retired from Cavitorus to make room for people, he would use the terms commo
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PROFITABLE EXERCISE.
PROFITABLE EXERCISE.
Among the most pleasant as well as most profitable industries anywhere, I conclude from the notes, are dairying and fruit-growing, and Mr. Oseba thinks that in no country or climate on the upper crust of our planet are these industries more promising or more profitable, especially the former. The absence of cold winters, the purity of the atmosphere, the nutritiousness of the grasses, and the frequency of rain, all “work together for good” to those who attend to business. “The relative area of l
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LET’S TO BUSINESS.
LET’S TO BUSINESS.
Here, for the sake of brevity, I condense many eloquent pages, and for the sake of clearness I make Mr. Oseba’s story my own, quoting when we pass the general argument. Commercially, I conclude, Zelania, on a population basis, is one of the leading countries on the upper crust, her annual exports and imports amounting to about £24,000,000. To furnish financial convenience for the great industrial and commercial enterprise of the country, there are provided excellent banking facilities. As a fact
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THE MORAL SIDE.
THE MORAL SIDE.
Relating to the moral side of Zelania’s progress, the notes were very full, but the story will be briefly and chiefly told in the less chaste style of Marmaduke:— As a rule, the people of Zelania, if the great discoverer is correct, enjoy excellent health—or should enjoy it—though we rarely “enjoy” anything that is very common. Of course, Zelania has not yet evolved a type, though she has begun her task, for while the Zelanians are of excellent stock, the “born Zelanian” is said to be superior,
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“ON THE MAKE.”
“ON THE MAKE.”
Mr. Oseba was greatly interested in the “enterprise” of the Outeroos. I quote:— “I have visited all the countries of the upper crust of Oliffa, and I have observed that the Outeroos are taking a lot of physical exercise. They are engaged in a mad scramble for dollars. Just why any man should want so many ‘dollars’ is not very clear, but it is very clear that they do want them. Men with very many dollars are, in most things, much like the men with very few dollars; they are alarmed at smallpox, t
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SHE CAME—FINALLY.
SHE CAME—FINALLY.
“And the Lord God said, ‘It is not well that man should be alone; I will make him a help-meet for him.’” Without irreverence, I would regard this as an excellent idea. Mr. Oseba, say the notes, gave a most pleasing review of the domestic relations of the Outeroos, with special reference to the position of women. The notes on this pleasing phase of the oration were full and spirited, but in boiling down some dozen pages I will array the orator’s impressions in my own garb, as though I myself had
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INTELLECTUAL TASTES.
INTELLECTUAL TASTES.
“If Zelania is proud of her system of education, she may be forgiven,” was Oseba’s first reference to the intellectual ambition of her people. He was eloquent on this subject. As any thinker could “guess,” the Zelanians were certainly not slow in efforts to elevate the mental tastes or in making provisions for the education of the future citizens. The foundation of the present excellent school system was laid by the old provincial authorities, and the best hopes of the pioneers, those who believ
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OTHER “TASTES.”
OTHER “TASTES.”
With the next phase of Zelanian life, according to the notes of Leo Bergin, Oseba was deeply impressed and pleased, for he said:— “As might be expected, my children, in a land so blessed by Nature, occupied by so noble a race, and ruled by such incomparably wise and generous laws, the word ‘pauper’ is not found in Zelanian statistics, and the ‘criminals,’ considering the newness of the country, are few indeed.” Speaking of the character of crime, Oseba said:— “Vice and virtue, my children, are l
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INTELLECTUAL GYMNASTICS.
INTELLECTUAL GYMNASTICS.
The notes relating to Zelanian art and literature were very full, and they were complimentary. ’Tis said that art develops only with age, and that while the aspect of Nature may appeal to the poetic or artistic imagination, art arises from dominant ideas, from deeply-seated sentiments, and as in new, active, progressive, and commercial countries the dominant ideas do not lend themselves to reverie, and could not be feelingly expressed on canvas, art in Zelania must be “imported” for a season. Bu
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FOR OPINION’S SAKE.
FOR OPINION’S SAKE.
“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works.” (Usually obeyed.— Ed. ) Under this head the notes were full and clear, but as life grows shorter and space less, I will condense greatly. Amoora Oseba informs his audience that the Zelanians have considerable religion—in fact, there seems to be nearly enough to go round, for all save a very few are reported to have it in some of its various forms. “Of the 800,000 people, nearly all,” he says, “belong to some religious socie
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“WORTHY OF HIS HIRE.”
“WORTHY OF HIS HIRE.”
And it was decreed that the lives of those who wrought should be spared. As Leo Bergin, before he retired, himself took a deep interest in all industrial affairs, he reported Oseba in profusive detail as the labor situation of Zelania was discussed. There had been an intermission and lunch, and the audience, feeling refreshed, showed deep interest in a problem, the solution of which had taxed the best energies of the ablest statesmen in many countries for many generations. As a text for his plea
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SOME PLEASANT OUTINGS.
SOME PLEASANT OUTINGS.
Here Mr. Oseba runs off on a pleasing tangent, and he leads us to the conclusion that a tour of Zelania is a jaunt of unrivalled pleasure; so full of change, of variety and surprising incidents, that curiosity lashes one forward, and physical vigor so rapidly improves as to banish all thought of weariness. On these tours good health is actually “catching,” and the appetite always arrives before meal time. He describes in interesting detail the ease, safety and comfort, as well as the jocund hila
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ENCORE ZELANIA.
ENCORE ZELANIA.
Again thy face, Sapho, though thou hast won the crown, The moon hangs high, return, let’s laugh till she goes down. The notes of Leo Bergin record no sign of weariness, either on the part of the audience or the orator. The sittings had been prolonged, but a cheerful and most intelligent interest seemed to have been preserved throughout, and the closing scenes in the review of Zelania had almost aroused enthusiasm. The curtain had been rolled down for a brief intermission, and as it was known tha
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