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THREE VALUABLE BOOKS.
THREE VALUABLE BOOKS.
Beautifully printed and elegantly bound. The Art of Conversation, With Directions for Self-Culture. An admirably conceived and entertaining book—sensible, instructive, and full of suggestions valuable to every one who desires to be either a good talker or listener, or who wishes to appear to advantage in good society. ⁂ Price $1.50. The Habits of Good Society. A Handbook for Ladies and Gentlemen. With thoughts, hints, and anecdotes concerning social observances; nice points of taste and good man
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NEW YORK: Carleton, Publisher, 413 Broadway. London: S. Low, Son & Co. MDCCCLXVI.
NEW YORK: Carleton, Publisher, 413 Broadway. London: S. Low, Son & Co. MDCCCLXVI.
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1866, by GEO. W. CARLETON, In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the Southern District of New York. To J. C. W....
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CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER I.
erhaps one of the great social faults of the American is, that he does not amuse himself enough, at least in a cheerful, innocent manner. We are never jolly. We are terribly troubled about our dignity. All other nations, the French, the German, the Italian, and even the dull English, have their relaxation, their merry-making; but we—why, a political or prayer-meeting is about the most hilarious affair in which we ever indulge. The French peasant has his ducas almost every week, when in some rust
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CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER II.
A good practical joke to play in a rollicking party, where you can venture to do it, is that of mesmerizing; you of course manage beforehand to lead the conversation to the subject of mesmerism, then profess to have wonderful powers in that line yourself. After more or less persuasion, allow yourself to be induced to operate. You then say: "Well, I will try if there is any person in the company who is susceptible to the magnetic influence. It is only in rare cases we find this susceptibility; th
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CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER III.
We will now describe a little party we attended at a country house one Christmas, some years ago; and should any of our readers find aught in the entertainment they think worth copying, they can do so. When we arrived at Nix's house all the company had assembled—it consisted of about ten grown people and a dozen children. All were in a chatter over a couple of little objects on the centre-table. The one a pig manufactured out of a lemon, and the other a dragon, or what not, adapted from a piece
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CHAPTER IV.
CHAPTER IV.
In our last chapter we promised to explain the nature of the little instrument by which the Night-Howler produced those "hideous and unearthly noises" to which we alluded. We will now proceed to do so; and as this instrument is the same as that used by showmen in the play of Punch and Judy, we cannot do better, while we are about it, than instruct our readers how to get up a Punch and Judy show. First, with regard to the instrument. It is a very simple affair: get two small pieces of clean white
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CHAPTER V.
CHAPTER V.
Heretofore the fireside amusements recorded by us have been rather masculine in their character. In this chapter we shall have the pleasure of describing an entertainment of more feminine qualities. It was a small party, of the description which the Scotch call a cookeyshine, the English a tea-fight, and we a sociable. A few young ladies in a country village had conspired together to pass a pleasant evening, and the head conspirator wrote us a note, which consisted of several rows of very neat s
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CHAPTER VI.
CHAPTER VI.
A friend of ours, Dudley Wegger, who recently gave an extemporaneous entertainment, amongst other things, devised a new kind of play, of such exceedingly simple construction that we have judged it expedient to put it on record. It must be observed that it is his method especially which we applaud and recommend, and further be it observed, that we applaud and recommend it on account of no other excellence save that of simplicity. Mr. Wegger possessed the power of imitating one or two popular acto
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AUNTY DELLUVIAN GIVES A PARTY.
AUNTY DELLUVIAN GIVES A PARTY.
We have a female relative whom we have playfully christened Aunty Delluvian—an old-fashioned person, who is particularly opposed to all "new-fangled notions," who loves the "good old times" and "good old ways;" who thinks there are no young men nowadays to compare with those of her day. She tells how straight they used to carry themselves, and she draws herself bolt upright and throws back her shoulders to give effect to her words, and "they didn't wear those nasty things—pshaw!—over their lips.
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CHAPTER VIII.
CHAPTER VIII.
The Highlanders are a hardy race, inhabiting the north of Scotland. They are brave, hospitable, and exceedingly fond of dancing. When you reflect that a very moderate nigger used to fetch one thousand dollars, it will be exhilarating to know that you can have a Highlander, with all his natural characteristics, for nothing. Yet such is our proposition to you on the present occasion. Will you have him for nothing? We assume, of course, that you have at least one hand. A foot will not answer. You h
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CHAPTER IX.
CHAPTER IX.
The scientific gentleman at our last meeting bewildered us all with four grains of rice. It will be remembered that he challenged us to arrange those four seeds in such a manner that each should be an equal distance from each, and yet not touch each other. Did we belong to the betting class, we would be willing to wager a moderately-sized cobble-stone that not one of our readers has yet solved the problem. It is explained thus: You lay three of the seeds on the table in the form of an equilatera
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CHAPTER X.
CHAPTER X.
" In those days there were giants. " Those days were the days when our mother was a young lady, and, as we devoutly believe, the most beautiful woman of her period; when our father's side-whiskers were glossy black; when he wore his hat just a leetle bit on one side, and when they twain used now and then to go forth magnificently arrayed after the lamps were lit, to balls and parties, whilst we little ones sat up in our white beds to receive the parting kiss and injunction flavored with blessing
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CHAPTER XI.
CHAPTER XI.
Folly is better than physic. If no one ever made this aphorism before, we at once lay claim to and include it in our copyright; entered according to act of Congress in the clerk's office, and all the rest of it. A good old-fashioned time we had of it last Christmas evening at the house of our friend Nix. What a happy, merry, jolly crowd of noodles, ninnies, judies, tomfools, and undignified people we were to be sure! Nix gave himself unheard-of moustaches and eyebrows with India-ink, and then wa
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CHAPTER XII.
CHAPTER XII.
Hanky-panky is the name of a certain art practised by pantomimists of the clown and harlequin school, and is the subject of no little study and practice. We do not think it within our power to define hanky-panky, composed as it is of fictitious whackings and kickings and smackings, unless, indeed, that be a definition. We can, however, give a couple of illustrations of the art as it may be practised in the family circle. We may look further into the matter at some future day, and possibly issue
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CHAPTER XIII.
CHAPTER XIII.
Being in a tranquil mood the other evening, and indisposed for the rollicking fun and tomfoolery in which, we are glad to say, we have so often indulged, we called upon our friend Nix to pass a quiet hour or two. When we had explained the object of our visit, Nix replied that it was well, for although he could not entertain us himself in the character of host, he could introduce us to a family to whom he happened to be engaged himself that evening. "They are," said he, "the most charming people
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CHAPTER XIV.
CHAPTER XIV.
A friend of ours, who is an ardent admirer of that great humorist of the plains, Artemus Ward, has recently been edifying a large circle of private friends with imitations of the celebrated showman. He has had a wig and false nose made expressly for this entertainment, by the aid of which adjuncts he succeeds in establishing quite a respectable resemblance to the grand original, as may be seen by his portrait, which we have taken the trouble to get engraved. Most of the jokes are those of Artemu
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BULLYWINGLE THE BELOVED;
BULLYWINGLE THE BELOVED;
Dramatis Personæ. Scene. — An artist's studio. Curtain rises, or is pulled down, and discovers Mr. Puttyblow seated at an easel opposite a picture which is so placed that the audience cannot see the face of it. Mr. Puttyblow (yawning). Oh—on—on—awe—awe—oo—oo! Oh, thunder! Oh, pickled thunder, turnip-tops, trust, tick, and tomatoes! I wish to goodness, goose-pies, and the goddess of fame, some one would give me a commission to paint a picture—one thousand dollars—half cash in advance, and the bal
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CHAPTER XVI.
CHAPTER XVI.
It may be remembered that in a recent chapter we mentioned being in a tranquil mood , and, while in that condition, calling on our friend Nix, and further, that Nix introduced us that same evening to some ladies with brown eyes. Since that event the tranquil moods have come over us periodically, with rapidly increasing virulence. So much so that latterly we have found it desirable to dispense with the cumbrous ceremony of going round to call for Nix. The fact is we have taken a great fancy to th
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CHAPTER XVII.
CHAPTER XVII.
Blue and white Christmas, with his henchman, Santa Claus, having come and gone, leaving behind him, however, for a while, his raiment of white and blue, with a host of dear memories for our hearts' nourishment through the next twelvemonth's stage in this journey of life, we think we cannot better show our appreciation of his goodness than by painting a portrait of that small fraction of the universal jollity which fell to our individual lot. We have some friends who live in the country, a long w
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CHAPTER XVIII.
CHAPTER XVIII.
We shall now amuse the fireside with a little song, or rather we will try to tell our friends how to gladden their own chimney-corners with the songs of birds through the long winter evenings. It will be pleasant when the wind is howling without among the snow-laden limbs of the trees, to be reminded of the gay summer by the counterfeit notes of the woodland songsters. Still, we must warn our readers, that to acquire the art thoroughly needs patience and perseverance; we can but tell them how to
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CHAPTER XIX.
CHAPTER XIX.
Those tranquil moods of which we have twice spoken come over us with still increasing frequency. Little Pickle is certainly a very smart boy. We are giving him lessons in drawing; he comes on rapidly, but requires a great deal of attention. Our time passes peaceably enough in study and contemplation. Nix has procured us some more works of Brahminical lore. It is a curious religion, that of the Hindoos, resembling in many points Christianity. Nix declares, in his good-natured way, that we are mor
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RED FIRE.
RED FIRE.
Forty parts of dry nitrate of strontian, thirteen parts of finely powdered sulphur, five parts of chlorate of potash, and four parts of sulphuret of antimony. The chlorate of potash and sulphuret of antimony should be powdered separately in a mortar, and then mixed together on paper; after which they may be added to the other ingredients, previously powdered and mixed....
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GREEN FIRE.
GREEN FIRE.
Green fire, when burned in a reflector, sheds a beautiful light on all surrounding objects. Take of flour of sulphur thirteen parts, of nitrate of baryta seventy-seven, of oxymuriate of potassa five, of metallic arsenic two, of charcoal three. The nitrate of baryta should be well dried and powdered; it should then be mixed with the other ingredients, all finely pulverized, and the whole triturated until perfectly blended together. A little calamine may be occasionally added, in order to make the
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CHAPTER XXI.
CHAPTER XXI.
It is marvellous how much amusement, in a quiet way, can be got out of a pair of scissors and a piece of card-board. Moreover, if the fingers be plump and white, we know of no position in which they look more tantalizingly bewitching, than when harnessed like a couple of white mice in the iron yoke of a pair of liliputian shears. We have passed many a pleasant evening in contemplating and cutting. On one occasion which we remember well, as it led to sudden and unexpected matrimony of a valued fr
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CHAPTER XXII.
CHAPTER XXII.
Nix has a sister married to a wealthy leather merchant, whose place of business is in that odoriferous part of New York city called The Swamp. She is very beautiful, so we call her the Swamp Angel , and her husband's counting-house, Araby the Blest . Her children we have christened Findings , the youngest being always spoken of as the last . We have numerous jokes, of course, about the cobbler sticking to his last , the best quality of calf , and so on. She is very good-natured, and enjoys our b
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CHAPTER XXIII.
CHAPTER XXIII.
A few days ago when the blistering sun had converted the whole of New York city into one vast bake-oven, Nix called at our office, and proposed a flying trip to a certain watering-place. We will not mention its name for fear of incurring the suspicion of writing puffs. It was, however, sufficiently unfashionable to be tolerably comfortable. In order to reach our destination we took an early steamboat, leaving New York at six o'clock in the morning. With what intense satisfaction we became consci
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CHAPTER XXIV.
CHAPTER XXIV.
We are not a great advocate for arithmetical puzzles as a pastime for festive occasions, that is to say not as a general rule; but there are certain tricks of figures which are quite amusing, and some few problems which from their very simplicity become almost ludicrous. We have seen many a tolerably wise head puzzled over the question: "If a barrel of flour cost thirty-nine dollars thirteen and three quarter cents, what will a penny loaf come to?" And consume considerable time and paper without
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CHAPTER XXV.
CHAPTER XXV.
We have observed that Tableaux and Charades run in some families, and that these families are always ready to spend any amount of time and money to carry out their favorite ideas; we cannot help feeling considerable admiration for any one having some honest enthusiasm for any amusement in this toiling age of ours. But our mission is not to deal much with the costly or complicated. Those who wish to produce tableaux from Waverley or the Bride of Abydos, who desire to attire themselves as Mary Que
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RECEIPT.
RECEIPT.
To two drachms of fine vermilion, add one ounce of clear resin, and melt them together; paint the object with this mixture while hot, and then hold it over a gentle fire till it is perfectly covered and smooth. To make sprays of coral you should procure some twigs of thorn; peel and dry, before painting with the varnish. The Nix gift of pearls has set all the ladies to work on a new idea—painting pictures in oil-colors on the inside of oyster shells; these are mostly marine subjects where the na
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CHAPTER XXVII.
CHAPTER XXVII.
To those who are fond of charades, and indeed to all those good people who love to be merry, we commend what the French call charades en action , or pantomime charades. These charades, as the name indicates, are acted, not spoken. The great rule to be observed is silence, nothing more than an exclamation being allowed. In extreme cases, where it is utterly impossible to convey the idea by actions, a placard may be introduced bearing some helpful inscription, as in the case of Mr. Cuffy (in the c
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ACT I. Car ——.
ACT I. Car ——.
Dramatis Personæ , Car-Driver. Conductor. Passengers. Scene — Sixth Avenue, New York. Scene opens and discovers street-car driving furiously along, drawn by two chestnut acquaintances. Conductor and driver represented by two small boys. Car composed of lounge, clothes-horse, and two chairs, judiciously arranged and draped; wheels of band box-lids or circular tea-trays. Noise of car simulated by confederates outside shaking sleigh-bells or hand-bells, and drumming on door with fingers and
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ACT II. —— Pet.
ACT II. —— Pet.
Dramatis Personæ , Husband and Wife. Enter lady poutingly, followed by her husband, who tries to coax her into a good humor, but without avail. She persists in being in a pet . Husband by his gestures promises to buy her shawls, dresses, a piano, and even a riding-horse. [A] Finding all these promises are of no use, he begins to get excited; declares she shall have nothing; lady remains sulky; gentleman seizes his hat, rams it on his head, and exits. Lady walks off in the opposite direction, cle
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ACT III. Carpet.
ACT III. Carpet.
Dramatis Personæ , Irishman. Colored Man. Servant Girl. Scene — Street-door of fashionable house—door-plate of white paper on door bearing the name of Swab. Enter colored man, [A] with his face well spotted with whitewash, who rings at door of fashionable house. Irish servant appears with her sleeves rolled up and her dress pinned in the form of a dress-coat behind. She turns up her nose at darkey, who humbly intimates that he has called for the carpet . Girl slams the door in his face.
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ACT I. Cat.
ACT I. Cat.
Dramatis Personæ , Cat. Dog. Old Gentleman. Scene — Backyard of city house, with small table placed on top of other table, to represent window. Enter cat (head done up in brown paper, with cat's face painted on it, brown paper ears, tail made out of lady's boa, black silk handkerchief, or any suitable thing). Cat commences to meow and caterwaul. Old gentleman appears at window with nightcap on and sheet wrapped round him, and shakes his fist at cat. Cat continues to make a noise. Old gen
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ACT II Ass.
ACT II Ass.
Dramatis Personæ , Ass. Rag and Soap-fat Man. Servant Girl. Scene — Public Street. Enter rag and soap-fat man dragging donkey after him. Donkey dragging cart made of chair with bandbox-lid wheels, cart filled with odds and ends of tinware, old rags, etc. Donkey very obstinate; driver beats him with roll of stiff paper. Servant hails soap-fat man and offers for sale several large jarsful of drippings, sheets, pillow-cases, etc., belonging to her mistress. They chaffer for some time over t
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ACT III. Trophy.
ACT III. Trophy.
Dramatis Personæ , Soldiers . Scene — A camp, tents made of sheets hung over chairs, etc. Enter soldiers, leading prisoners, and bearing ragged and shot-torn flag on broomstick, band playing trumpets (sheets of music rolled up), and beating drums (tin pails); they halt and form in line; the officer, by suitable gestures, calls attention to the trophy. Enter general and staff. General makes a speech, pointing to the trophy, and then decorates their captain by pinning a medal (a circular soda-crac
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ACT IV. Catastrophe.
ACT IV. Catastrophe.
Dramatis Personæ , Gentlemen. Ladies. Horses and Policemen. Scene — Central Park. A superb carriage, made out of the lounge with bandbox-lid wheels, and drawn by a span of spirited bay gentleman, is discovered; an elegant youth is seated on the box driving, whilst the carriage is filled with a gay and festive party of youthful ladies and gentlemen. Presently the horses become restive, plunge wildly about, and, in spite of all the efforts of the driver, dash the vehicle against a post; th
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THE LAST ACT OF THE PLAY.
THE LAST ACT OF THE PLAY.
We took our play to the Adams' to-night, and told Bud that it was nearly completed, but we were in some embarrassment how to conclude it. We had consequently come to consult her on the subject, begging at the same time she would give it her most careful attention, as her decision was of vital importance. We were alone. We had read the whole play through with the utmost care, till we came to the final sentence in our manuscript, where the hero declares his passion for the Unblown Rose. It runs th
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THE WORSHIP OF BUD.
THE WORSHIP OF BUD.
Bud colored—looked at us in an embarrassed way, and then with much hesitation was about to speak, when we stretched out our hand and said: "You will not make us alter what we have written?" She gave no answer, but from the pressure of her hand we knew we need doubt no more. Now this heathen idolator would not change places with the greatest Christian monarch in Europe....
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THE END.
THE END.
" There is a kind of physiognomy in the titles of books no less than in the faces of men, by which a skilful observer will know as well what to expect from the one as the other. "— Butler....
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N E W B O O K S And New Editions Recently Issued by CARLETON, PUBLISHER, NEW YORK, 418 BROADWAY, CORNER OF LISPENARD STREET
N E W B O O K S And New Editions Recently Issued by CARLETON, PUBLISHER, NEW YORK, 418 BROADWAY, CORNER OF LISPENARD STREET
N.B.— The Publisher , upon receipt of the price in advance, will send any of the following Books by mail, Postage Free , to any part of the United States. This convenient and very safe mode may be adopted when the neighboring Booksellers are not supplied with the desired work. State name and address in full....
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