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43 chapters
CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER I.
Departure—The Atlantic—Demoralization of the “Boarders”—Betting—The Auctioneer—An Inquisitive Yankee. On board the “Celtic,” Christmas Week, 1889. In the order of things the Teutonic was to have sailed to-day, but the date is the 25th of December, and few people elect to eat their Christmas dinner on the ocean if they can avoid it; so there are only twenty-five saloon passengers, and they have been committed to the brave little Celtic , while that huge floating palace, the Teutonic , remains in
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CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER II.
Arrival of the Pilot—First Look at American Newspapers. Saturday, January 4, 1890. We shall arrive in New York Harbor to-night, but too late to go on shore. After sunset, the Custom House officers are not to be disturbed. We are about to land in a country where, as I remember, everything is in subjection to the paid servant. In the United States, he who is paid wages commands. We make the best of it. After having mercilessly tumbled us about for nine days, the wind has graciously calmed down, an
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CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER III.
Arrival—The Custom House—Things Look Bad—The Interviewers—First Visits—Things Look Brighter—“O Vanity of Vanities.” New York Harbor; January 5. At seven o’clock in the morning the Custom House officers came on board. One of them at once recognizing me, said, calling me by name, that he was glad to see me back, and inquired if I had not brought Madame with me this time. It is extraordinary the memory of many of these Americans! This one had seen me for a few minutes two years before, and probably
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CHAPTER IV.
CHAPTER IV.
Impressions of American Hotels. Boston , January 6. Arrived here this afternoon, and resumed acquaintance with American hotels. American hotels are all alike. Some are worse. Describe one and you have described them all. On the ground floor, a large entrance hall strewed with cuspidores for the men, and a side entrance provided with a triumphal arch for the ladies. On this floor the sexes are separated as at the public baths. THE SAD-EYED CLERK. In the large hall, a counter behind which solemn c
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CHAPTER V.
CHAPTER V.
My Opening Lecture—Reflections on Audiences I Have Had—The Man who Won’t Smile—The One who Laughs too Soon, and Many Others. Boston , January 7. Began my second American tour under most favorable auspices last night, in the Tremont Temple. The huge hall was crowded with an audience of about 2500 people—a most kind, warm, keen, and appreciative audience. I was a little afraid of the Bostonians; I had heard so much about their power of criticism that I had almost come to the conclusion that it was
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CHAPTER VI.
CHAPTER VI.
A Connecticut Audience—Merry Meriden—A Hard Pull. From Meriden , January 8. A Connecticut audience was a new experience to me. Yesterday I had a crowded room at the Opera House in Meriden; but if you had been behind the scenery, when I made my appearance on the stage, you would not have suspected it, for not one of the audience treated me to a little applause. I was frozen, and so were they. For a quarter of an hour I proceeded very cautiously, feeling the ground, as it were, as I went on. By th
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CHAPTER VII.
CHAPTER VII.
A Tempting Offer—The Thursday Club—Bill Nye—Visit to Young Ladies’ Schools—The Players’ Club. New York , January 9. On returning here, I found a most curious letter awaiting me. I must tell you that in Boston, last Monday, I made the following remarks in my lecture: “The American is, I believe, on the road to the possession of all that can contribute to the well-being and success of a nation, but he seems to me to have missed the path that leads to real happiness. To live in a whirl is not to li
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CHAPTER VIII.
CHAPTER VIII.
The Flourishing of Coats-of-Arms in America—Reflections Thereon—Forefathers Made to Order—The Phonograph at Home—The Wealth of New York—Departure for Buffalo. New York , January 11. There are in America, as in many other countries of the world, people who have coats-of-arms, and whose ancestors had no arms to their coats. This remark was suggested by the reading of the following paragraph in the New York World this morning: There is growing in this country the rotten influence of rank, pride of
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CHAPTER IX.
CHAPTER IX.
Different Ways of Advertising a Lecture—American Impresarios and Their Methods. Buffalo , January 13. When you intend to give a lecture anywhere, and you wish it to be a success, it is a mistake to make a mystery of it. On arriving here this morning, I found that my coming had been kept perfectly secret. Perhaps my impresario wishes my audience to be very select, and has sent only private circulars to the intelligent, well-to-do inhabitants of the place—or, I said to myself, perhaps the house is
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CHAPTER X.
CHAPTER X.
Buffalo—The Niagara Falls—A Frost—Rochester to the Rescue of Buffalo—Cleveland—I Meet Jonathan—Phantasmagoria. Buffalo , January 14. This town is situated twenty-seven miles from Niagara Falls. The Americans say that the Buffalo people can hear the noise of the water-fall quite distinctly. I am quite prepared to believe it. However, an hour’s journey by rail and then a quarter of an hour’s sleigh ride will take you from Buffalo within sight of this, perhaps the grandest piece of scenery in the w
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CHAPTER XI.
CHAPTER XI.
A Great Admirer—Notes on Railway Traveling—Is America a Free Nation?—A Pleasant Evening in New York. In the vestibule train from Pittsburg to New York , January 17. This morning, before leaving the hotel in Pittsburg, I was approached by a young man who, after giving me his card, thanked me most earnestly for my lecture of last night. In fact, he nearly embraced me. “I never enjoyed myself so much in my life,” he said. I grasped his hand. “I am glad,” I replied, “that my humble effort pleased yo
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CHAPTER XII.
CHAPTER XII.
Notes on American Women—Comparisons—How Men Treat Women and Vice Versa—Scenes and Illustrations. New York , January 18. A man was one day complaining to a friend that he had been married twenty years without being able to understand his wife. “You should not complain of that,” remarked the friend. “I have been married to my wife two years only, and I understand her perfectly.” The leaders of thought in France have long ago proclaimed that woman was the only problem it was not given to man to sol
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CHAPTER XIII.
CHAPTER XIII.
More about Journalism in America—A Dinner at Delmonico’s—My First Appearance in an American Church. New York , Sunday Night, January 19. Have been spending the whole day in reading the Sunday papers. I am never tired of reading and studying the American newspapers. The whole character of the nation is there: Spirit of enterprise, liveliness, childishness, inquisitiveness, deep interest in everything that is human, fun and humor, indiscretion, love of gossip, brightness. Speak of electric light,
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CHAPTER XIV.
CHAPTER XIV.
Marcus Aurelius in America—Chairmen I have had—American, English, and Scotch Chairmen—One who had Been to Boulogne—Talkative and Silent Chairmen—A Trying Occasion—The Lord is Asked to Allow the Audience to See my Points. New York , January 22. There are indeed very few Americans who have not either tact or a sense of humor. They make the best of chairmen. They know that the audience have not come to hear them, and that all that is required of them is to introduce the lecturer in very few words,
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CHAPTER XV.
CHAPTER XV.
Reflections on the Typical American. New York , January 23. I was asked to-day by the editor of the North American Review to write an article on the typical American. The typical American! In the eyes of my beloved compatriots, the typical American is a man with hair falling over his shoulders, wearing a sombrero, a red shirt, leather leggings, a pair of revolvers in his belt, spending his life on horseback, and able to shoot a fly off the tip of your nose without for a moment endangering your o
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CHAPTER XVI.
CHAPTER XVI.
I am Asked to Express Myself Freely on America—I Meet Mrs. Blank and for the First Time Hear of Mr. Blank—Beacon Street Society—The Boston Clubs. Boston , January 25. It amuses me to notice how the Americans to whom I have the pleasure of being introduced, refrain from asking me what I think of America. But they invariably inquire if the impressions of my first visit are confirmed. This afternoon, at an “At Home,” I met a lady from New York, who asked me a most extraordinary question. “I have re
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CHAPTER XVII.
CHAPTER XVII.
A Lively Sunday in Boston—Lecture in the Boston Theater—Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes—The Booth-Modjeska Combination. Boston , January 26. “Max Eliot” devotes a charming and most flattering article to me in this morning’s Herald , embodying the conversation we had together yesterday in the Boston Herald’s office. Many thanks, Max. A reception was given to me this afternoon by Citizen George Francis Train, and I met many artists, journalists, and a galaxy of charming women. The Citizen is pronounced
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CHAPTER XVIII.
CHAPTER XVIII.
St. Johnsbury—The State of Maine—New England Self-Control—Cold Climates and Frigid Audiences—Where is the Audience?—All Drunk!—A Reminiscence of a Scotch Audience on a Saturday Night. St. Johnsbury (Vt.) , January 28. St. Johnsbury is a charming little town perched on the top of a mountain, from which a lovely scene of hills and woods can be enjoyed. The whole country is covered with snow, and as I looked at it in the evening by the electric light, the effect was very beautiful. The town has onl
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CHAPTER XIX.
CHAPTER XIX.
A Lovely Ride to Canada—Quebec, a Corner of Old France Strayed up and Lost in the Snow—The French Canadians—The Parties in Canada—Will the Canadians Become Yankees? Montreal , February 1. The ride from the State of Maine to Montreal is very picturesque, even in the winter. It offers you four or five hours of Alpine scenery through the American Switzerland. The White Mountains, commanded by Mount Washington, are, for a distance of about forty miles, as wild and imposing as anything the real Switz
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CHAPTER XX.
CHAPTER XX.
Montreal—The City—Mount Royal—Canadian Sports—Ottawa—The Government—Rideau Hall. Montreal , February 2. Montreal is a large and well-built city, containing many buildings of importance, mostly churches, of which about thirty are Roman Catholic, and over sixty are devoted to Protestant worship, in all its branches and variations, from the Anglican church to the Salvation Army. I arrived at a station situated on a level with the St. Lawrence River. From it, we mounted in an omnibus up, up, up, thr
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CHAPTER XXI.
CHAPTER XXI.
Toronto—The City—The Ladies—The Sports—Strange Contrasts—The Canadian Schools. Toronto , February 9. Have passed three very pleasant days in this city, and had two beautiful audiences in the Pavilion. Toronto is a thoroughly American city in appearance, but only in appearance, for I find the inhabitants British in heart, in tastes, and habits. When I say that it is an American city, I mean to say that Toronto is a large area, covered with blocks of parallelograms and dirty streets, overspread wi
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CHAPTER XXII.
CHAPTER XXII.
West Canada—Relations between British and Indians—Return to the United States—Difficulties in the Way—Encounter with an American Custom-House Officer. In the train from Canada to Chicago , February 15. Lectured in Bowmanville, Ont., on the 12th, in Brantford on the 13th, and in Sarnia on the 14th, and am now on my way to Chicago, to go from there to Wisconsin and Minnesota. From Brantford I drove to the Indian Reservation, a few miles from the town. This visit explained to me why the English are
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CHAPTER XXIII.
CHAPTER XXIII.
Chicago (First Visit)—The “Neighborhood” of Chicago—The History of Chicago—Public Servants—A Very Deaf Man. Chicago , February 17. Oh! a lecturing tour in America! I am here on my way to St. Paul and Minneapolis. Just before leaving New York, I saw in a comic paper that Bismarck must really now be considered as a great man, because, since his departure from office, there had been no rumor of his having applied to Major Pond to get up a lecturing tour for him in the United States. It was not news
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CHAPTER XXIV.
CHAPTER XXIV.
St. Paul and Minneapolis, the Sister Cities—Rivalries and Jealousies between Large American Cities—Minnehaha Falls—Wonderful Interviewers—My Hat gets into Trouble Again—Electricity in the Air—Forest Advertisements—Railway Speed in America. St. Paul, Minn. , February 20. Arrived at St. Paul the day before yesterday to pay a professional visit to the two great sister cities of the north of America. Sister cities! Yes, they are near enough to shake hands and kiss each other, but I am afraid they av
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CHAPTER XXV.
CHAPTER XXV.
Detroit—The Town—The Detroit “Free Press”—A Lady Interviewer—The “Unco Guid” in Detroit—Reflections on the Anglo-Saxon “Unco Guid.” Detroit , February 22. Am delighted with Detroit. It possesses beautiful streets, avenues, and walks, and a fine square in the middle of which stands a remarkably fine monument. I am also grateful to this city for breaking the monotony of the eternal parallelograms with which the whole of the United States are built. My national vanity almost suggests to me that thi
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CHAPTER XXVI.
CHAPTER XXVI.
Milwaukee—A Well-filled Day—Reflections on the Scotch in America—Chicago Criticisms. Milwaukee , February 25. Arrived here from Detroit yesterday. Milwaukee is a city of over two hundred thousand inhabitants, a very large proportion of whom are Germans, who have come here to settle down, and wish good luck to the Vaterland , at the respectful distance of five thousand miles. At the station I was met by Mr. John L. Mitchell, the railway king, and by a compatriot of mine, M. A. de Guerville, a you
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CHAPTER XXVII.
CHAPTER XXVII.
The Monotony of Traveling in the States—“Manon Lescaut” in America. In the train from Cleveland to Albany , February 27. Am getting tired and ill. I am not bed-ridden, but am fairly well rid of a bed. I have lately spent as many nights in railway cars as in hotel beds. Am on my way to Albany, just outside “the neighborhood of Chicago.” I lecture in that place to-night, and shall get to New York to-morrow. I am suffering from the monotony of life. My greatest objection to America (indeed I do not
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CHAPTER XXVIII.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
For the First Time I See an American Paper Abuse Me—Albany to New York—A Lecture at Daly’s Theater—Afternoon Audiences. New York , February 23. The American press has always been very good to me. Fairness one has a right to expect, but kindness is an extra that is not always thrown in, and therefore the uniform amiability of the American press toward me could not fail to strike me most agreeably. Up to yesterday I had not seen a single unkind notice or article, but in the Albany Express of yeste
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CHAPTER XXIX.
CHAPTER XXIX.
Wanderings through New York—Lecture at the Harmonie Club—Visit to the Century Club. New York , March 1. The more I see New York, the more I like it. After lunch I had a drive through Central Park and Riverside Park, along the Hudson, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I returned to the Everett House through Fifth Avenue. I have never seen Central Park in summer, but I can realize how beautiful it must be when the trees are clothed. To have such a park in the heart of the city is perfectly marvelous. It
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CHAPTER XXX.
CHAPTER XXX.
Visit to the Brooklyn Academy of Music—Rev. Dr. Talmage. New York , March 2. Went to hear Dr. T. de Witt Talmage this morning at the Academy of Music, Brooklyn. What an actor America has lost by Dr. Talmage choosing the pulpit in preference to the stage! The Academy of Music was crowded. Standing-room only. For an old-fashioned European, to see a theater, with its boxes, stalls, galleries, open for divine service was a strange sight; but we had not gone very far into the service before it became
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CHAPTER XXXI.
CHAPTER XXXI.
Virginia—The Hotels—The South—I will Kill a Railway Conductor before I leave America—Philadelphia—Impressions of the Old City. Petersburg, Va. , March 3. Left New York last night and arrived here at noon. No change in the scenery. The same burnt-up fields, the same placards all over the land. The roofs of houses, the trees in the forests, the fences in the fields, all announce to the world the magic properties of castor oil, aperients, and liver pills. A little village inn in the bottom of old B
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CHAPTER XXXII.
CHAPTER XXXII.
My Ideas of the State of Texas—Why I Will Not Go There—The Story of a Frontier Man. New York , March 5. Have had cold audiences in Maine and Connecticut; and indifferent ones in several cities, while I have been warmly received in many others. It seems that, if I went to Texas, I might get it hot. I have received to-day a Texas paper containing a short editorial marked at the four corners in blue pencil. Impossible not to see it. The editorial abuses me from the first line to the last. When ther
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CHAPTER XXXIII.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
Cincinnati—The Town—The Suburbs—A German City—“Over the Rhine”—What is a Good Patriot?—An Impressive Funeral—A Great Fire—How It Appeared to Me, and How It Appeared to the Newspaper Reporters. Cincinnati , March 7. My arrival in Cincinnati this morning was anything but triumphal. On leaving the car, I gave my check to a cab-driver, who soon came to inform me that my valise was broken. It was a leather one, and on being thrown from the baggage-van on the platform, it burst open, and all my things
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CHAPTER XXXIV.
CHAPTER XXXIV.
A Journey if you Like—Terrible Encounter with an American Interviewer. In the train to Brushville , March 11. Left Cincinnati this morning at ten o’clock and shall not arrive at Brushville before seven o’clock to-night. I am beginning to learn how to speak American. As I asked for my ticket this morning at the railroad office, the clerk said to me: “C. H. D. or C. C. C. St. L. and St. P.?” “C. H. D.,” I replied, with perfect assurance. I happened to hit on the right line for Brushville. By this
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CHAPTER XXXV.
CHAPTER XXXV.
The University of Indiana—Indianapolis—The Veterans of the Grand Army of the Republic on the Spree—A Marvelous Equilibrist. Bloomington, Ind. , March 13. Lectured yesterday before the students of the University of Indiana, and visited the different buildings this morning. The university is situated on a hill in the midst of a wood, about half a mile from the little town of Bloomington. In a few days I shall be at Ann Arbor, the University of Michigan, the largest in America, I am told. I will wa
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CHAPTER XXXVI.
CHAPTER XXXVI.
Chicago (Second Visit)—Vassili Vereschagin’s Exhibition—The “Angelus”—Wagner and Wagnerites—Wanderings About the Big City—I Sit on the Tribunal. Chicago , March 15. Arrived here this morning and put up at the Grand Pacific Hotel. My lecture to-night at the Central Music Hall is advertised as a causerie . My local manager informs me that many people have inquired at the box-office what the meaning of that French word is. As he does not know himself, he could not enlighten them, but he thinks that
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CHAPTER XXXVII.
CHAPTER XXXVII.
Ann Arbor—The University of Michigan—Detroit Again—The French Out of France—Oberlin College, Ohio—Black and White—Are All American Citizens Equal? Detroit , March 22. One of the most interesting and brilliant audiences that I have yet addressed was the large one which gathered in the lecture hall of the University of Michigan, at Ann Arbor, last night. Two thousand young, bright faces to gaze at from the platform is a sight not to be easily forgotten. I succeeded in pleasing them, and they simpl
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CHAPTER XXXVIII.
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
Mr. and Mrs. Kendal in New York—Joseph Jefferson—Julian Hawthorne—Miss Ada Rehan—“As You Like It” at Daly’s Theater. New York , March 28. The New York papers this morning announce that the “Society of Young Girls of Pure Character on the Stage” give a lunch to Mrs. Kendal to-morrow. Mr. and Mrs. Kendal have conquered America. Their tour is a triumphal march through the United States, a huge success artistically, financially, and socially. I am not surprised at it. I went to see them a few days a
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CHAPTER XXXIX.
CHAPTER XXXIX.
Washington—The City—Willard’s Hotel—The Politicians—General Benjamin Harrison, U. S. President—Washington Society—Baltimore—Philadelphia. Washington , April 3. Arrived here the day before yesterday, and put up at Willard’s. I prefer this huge hotel to the other more modern houses of the capital, because it is thoroughly American; because it is in its rotunda that every evening the leading men of all parties and the notables of the nation may be found; because to meet at Willard’s at night is as
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CHAPTER XL.
CHAPTER XL.
Easter Sunday in New York. New York , April 6 ( Easter Sunday. ) This morning I went to Dr. Newton’s church in Forty-eighth Street. He has the reputation of being one of the best preachers in New York, and the choir enjoys an equally great reputation. The church was literally packed until the sermon began, and then some of the strollers who had come to hear the anthems moved on. Dr. Newton’s voice and delivery were not at all to my taste, so I did not sit out his sermon either. He has a big, unc
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CHAPTER XLI.
CHAPTER XLI.
I Mount the Pulpit, and Preach on the Sabbath, in the State of Wisconsin—The Audience is Large and Appreciative; but I probably Fail to Please One of the Congregation. Milwaukee , April 21. To a certain extent I am a believer in climatic influence, and am inclined to think that Sabbath reformers reckon without the British climate when they hope to ever see a Britain full of cheerful Christians. M. Taine, in his “History of English Literature,” ascribes the unlovable morality of Puritanism to the
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CHAPTER XLII.
CHAPTER XLII.
The Origin of American Humor and Its Characteristics—The Sacred and the Profane—The Germans and American Humor—My Corpse Would “Draw,” in My Impresario’s Opinion. Madison, Wis. , April 22. Have been lecturing during the past fortnight in about twelve places, few of which possessed any interest whatever. One of them, however—Cincinnati—I was glad to see again. This town of Madison is the only one that has really struck me as being beautiful. From the hills the scenery is perfectly lovely, with it
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CHAPTER XLIII.
CHAPTER XLIII.
Good-by to America—Not “Adieu,” but “Au Revoir”—On Board the “Teutonic”—Home Again. New York , April 26. The last two days have vanished rapidly in paying calls. This morning my impresario gave me a farewell breakfast at the Everett House. Edmund Clarence Stedman was there; Mark Twain, George Kennan, General Horace Porter, General Lloyd Bryce, Richard Watson Gilder, and many others sat at table, and joined in wishing me bon voyage . Good-by, my dear American friends, I shall carry away sweet rec
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