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35 chapters
CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER I.
A Word to Donald.—The Scotch Anecdote and its Character.—The Scotch painted by Themselves. h! my dear Donald, what good stories you told me in the few months that I had the pleasure of passing with you! How you stuffed and saturated me with them! And the English pretend that nobody laughs in Scotland! Don't they though! and with the right sort of laughter, too: a laugh that is frank, and full of finesse and good-humour. You will be astonished, perhaps, that a three or four months' sojourn in Sco
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CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER II.
Donald, a British subject, but no Englishman.—Opinion of the greatest English Wit on the Scotch, and the worth of that Opinion.—The Wit of Donald and the Wit of the Cockney.—Intelligence and Intellectuality.—Donald's Exterior.—Donald's Interior.—Help yourself and Heaven will help you.—An Irish and a Scotch Servant facing a Difficulty.—How a small Scotchman may make himself useful in the Hour of Danger.—Characteristics.—Donald on Train Journeys.—One Way of avoiding Tolls. n the eyes of the French
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CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER III.
All Scots know how to reckon.—Rabelais in Scotland.—How Donald made two pence halfpenny by going to the Lock-up.—Difference between buying and stealing.—Scotch Honesty.—Last words of a Father to his Son.—Abraham in Scotland.—How Donald outdid Jonathan.—Circumspection, Insinuations, and Negations.—Delicious Declarations of Love.—Laconism.—Conversation reduced to its simplest Expression.—A, e, i, o, u.—A visit to Thomas Carlyle.—The Silent Academy of Hamadan.—With the Author's Compliments. ll the
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CHAPTER IV.
CHAPTER IV.
The traditional Hospitality of the Highlands.—One more fond Belief gone.—Highland Bills.—Donald's Two Trinities.—Never trust Donald on Saturdays or Mondays.—The Game he prefers.—A well-informed Man.—Ask no Questions and you will be told no Tales.—How Donald showed prodigious Things to a Cockney in the Highlands.—There is no Man so dumb as he who will not be heard. ver since the French first heard Boïeldieu's opera, La Dame Blanche , and were charmed with the chorus, "Chez les montagnards écossai
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CHAPTER V.
CHAPTER V.
Resemblance of Donald to the Norman.—Donald marketing.—Bearding a Barber.—Norman Replies.—Cant.—Why the Whisky was not marked on the Hotel Bill.—New Use for the Old and New Testaments.—You should love your Enemies and not swallow them.—A modest Wish. riend Donald resembles the Norman very closely. Like him, he is cunning and circumspect, with the composed exterior of Puss taking a doze. We say in France, "Answering like a Norman." That means, "to give an evasive, ambiguous answer—neither yes nor
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CHAPTER VI.
CHAPTER VI.
Democratic Spirit in Scotland.—One Scot as good as another.—Amiable Beggars.—Familiarity of Servants.—Shout all together!—A Scotchman who does not admire his Wife.—Donald's Pride.—The Queen and her Scotch People.—Little Presents keep alive Friendship. he Scotch are an essentially democratic people. I take the word in its social, not its political, sense; although it might be asserted without hesitation, that if ever there was a nation formed for living under a republic, it is the Scotch—serious,
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CHAPTER VII.
CHAPTER VII.
Scottish Perseverance.—Thomas Carlyle, David Livingstone, and General Gordon.—Literary Exploits of a Scotchman.—Scottish Students.—All the Students study.—A useful Library.—A Family of three.—Coming, sir, coming!—Killed in Action.—Scotchmen at Oxford.—Balliol College. t is not in business alone that the Scotchman shows that obstinate perseverance which so characterises his nation. Thomas Carlyle would have passed a whole year searching out the exact date of the most insignificant incident. That
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CHAPTER VIII.
CHAPTER VIII.
Good old Times.—A Trick.—Untying Cravats.—Bible and Whisky.—Evenings in Scotland.—The Dining-room.—Scots of the Old School.—Departure of the Whisky and Arrival of the Bible.—The Nightcap in Scotland.—Five hours' Rest.—The Gong and its Effects.—Fresh as Larks.—Iron Stomachs. cotchmen still drink hard; but where are the joyous days when the Scotch host broke the glasses off at the stem, so that his guests should drink nothing but bumpers? Scotchmen still drink hard; but where are the good old time
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CHAPTER IX.
CHAPTER IX.
Religion and Churches in Scotland.—Why Scotch Bishops cut a poor Figure.—Companies for insuring against the Accidents of the Life to come.—Religious Lecture-Rooms.—No one can serve two Masters.—How the Gospel Camel was able to pass through the Eye of a Needle.—Incense and Common Sense.—I understand, therefore I believe.—Conversions at Home.—Conversions in open Air.—A modest Preacher.—A well-filled Week.—Touching Piety.—Donald recommends John Bull and Paddy to the Lord. reat Britain boasts two St
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CHAPTER X.
CHAPTER X.
Donald's Relations with the Divinity.—Prayers and Sermons.—Signification of the Word "Receptivity."—Requests and Thanksgivings.—"Repose in Peace."—"Thou Excelledst them all."—Explanation of Miracles.—Pulpit Advertisements.—Pictures of the Last Judgment.—One of the Elect Belated.—An Urchin Preacher.—A Considerate Beggar. Donald is still more religious than John Bull—that is to say, he is still more theological and church-going; but the fashion in which he keeps up relations with the Divinity is v
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CHAPTER XI.
CHAPTER XI.
The Scotch Sabbath.—The Saviour in the Cornfield.—A good Advertisement.—Difference between the Inside and the Outside of a Tramcar.—How useful it is to be able to speak Scotch in Scotland.—Sermon and Lesson on Balistics at Edinburgh.—If you do Evil on the Sabbath, do it well. he Lord's day is not called Sunday in Scotland, but the Sabbath, which is more biblical. The Scotch Sabbath beats the English Sunday into fits. I thought, in my innocence, that the English Sunday was not to be matched. Delu
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CHAPTER XII.
CHAPTER XII.
Scotch Bonhomie.—Humour and Quick-Wittedness.—Reminiscences of a Lecturer.—How the Author was once taken for an Englishman. t seems strange that in this country, so religious as it is, most of the anecdotes which the people are fond of relating should refer to religion, and that the hero of them should generally be the minister. All that joking at the Scriptures, that parodying of the Bible, those little comic scenes at the poor minister's expense, seem at first sight to be in direct opposition
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CHAPTER XIII.
CHAPTER XIII.
Drollery of Scotch Phraseology.—A Scotchman who Lost his Head.—Two Severe Wounds.—Premature Death.—A Neat Comparison.—Cold Comfort. have spoken in a preceding chapter of the picturesque manner in which the Scotch people of the old school express themselves. Here are two or three examples which will well illustrate what I mean. I one day made the acquaintance of an old Scotch soldier. He had been present at the battle of Waterloo, and was fond of talking about the Napoleonic wars. I started his
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CHAPTER XIV.
CHAPTER XIV.
Family Life—"Can I assist you?"—"No, I will assist myself, thank you."—Hospitality in good Society.—The Friends of Friends are Friends.—When the Visitors come to an End there are more to follow.—Good Society.—Women.—Men.—Conversation in Scotland.—A Touching little Scene. he hospitality of the Scotch, the simplicity of their manners, and the authority which the father wields, give Scotch family life quite a patriarchal aspect. The existence which the Scotch lead is a little morose in its austerit
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CHAPTER XV.
CHAPTER XV.
Little Sketches of Family Life in Scotland.—The Scotchman of "John Bull and his Island."—Painful Explanations.—As a Father I love you, as a Customer I take you in.—A Good Investment.—Killing two Birds with one Stone.—A Young Man in a Hurry. hat letters of recrimination I received on the subject of a certain Scotchman presented to the readers of John Bull and His Island ! What downpours! Some accused me of caricaturing, some of imposture. Others, with more delicacy, hinted that I should do better
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CHAPTER XVI.
CHAPTER XVI.
Matrimonial Ceremonies.—Sweethearts.—"Un Serrement de main vaut dix serments de bouche."—"Jack's kisses were nicer than that."—A Platonic Lover.—"Excuse me, I'm married."—A wicked Trick. n Scotland, matrimonial ceremonies are as simple as they are practical. No priest, no mayor brought into requisition; you take God and your friends to witness. You present your choice to these latter, and say: "I take Mary for my wife." The girl on her part says: "I take Donald for my husband," and there is an e
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CHAPTER XVII.
CHAPTER XVII.
Donald is not easily knocked down.—He calmly contemplates Death, especially other People's.—A thoughtful Wife.—A very natural Request.—A Consolable Father.—"Job," 1st Chapter, 21st Verse.—Merry Funerals.—They manage Things better in Ireland.—Gone just in Time.—Touching Funeral Orations. f folks do not laugh much at a wedding in Scotland, they make up for it at a funeral. Let me hasten to say, that I am sure it would be insulting the reader's intelligence to tell him that this applies only to the
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CHAPTER XVIII.
CHAPTER XVIII.
Intellectual Life in Scotland.—The Climate is not so bad as it is represented to be.—Comparisons.—Literary and Scientific Societies.—Why should not France possess such Societies?—Scotch Newspapers.—Scotland is the Sinew of the British Empire. ow active and intellectual life in Scotland seems, in comparison with the petty and monotonous existence led by the dwellers in Provincial France! Is it the climate that so stirs the Scotch up to action? Possibly it may be, up to a certain point: in a cold
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CHAPTER XIX.
CHAPTER XIX.
Higher Education in Scotland.—The Universities.—How they differ from English Universities.—Is he a Gentleman?—Scholarships.—A Visit to the University of Aberdeen.—English Prejudice against Scotch Universities. cotland boasts four universities: Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberdeen, and St. Andrew's. These four great centres of learning constitute the system of Higher Education in Scotland. These universities differ essentially from the two great English ones, first because men go there to work, secondly
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CHAPTER XX.
CHAPTER XX.
Scotch Literature.—Robert Burns.—Walter Scott.—Thomas Carlyle and Adam Smith.—Burns Worship.—Scotch Ballads and Poetry. cotland possesses a national literature of which the greatest nations might justly be proud. To take only the great names, it may safely be said that more touching and sublime poetry than that of Burns was never written, that Walter Scott was the greatest novelist of the century, that Thomas Carlyle has never been surpassed as a historian and essayist, and that Adam Smith's The
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CHAPTER XXI.
CHAPTER XXI.
The Dance in Scotland.—Reels and Highland Schottische.—Is Dancing a Sin?—Dances of Antiquity.—There is no Dancing now. eople do not dance now—in drawing-rooms at least—they walk, says M. Ratisbonne. In Scotland, however, people still dance. The Scotch have preserved the primitive, innocent, pastoral character of this exercise. Nothing is more graceful than the reel and schottische of the Highlands. The reel demands great agility. Two swords are placed crosswise on the ground and, to the sound of
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CHAPTER XXII.
CHAPTER XXII.
The Wisdom of Scotland.—Proverbs.—Morals in Words and Morals in Deeds.—Maxims.—The Scot is a Judge of Human Nature.—Scotch and Norman Proverbs compared.—Practical Interpretation of a Passage of the Bible. n a country where everyone moralises, one may expect to find a great number of proverbs, those time-honoured oracles of the wisdom of nations. And, indeed, Scotland, the home of moral phrases par excellence , owns more than three thousand proverbs. These proverbs show up all the characteristics
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CHAPTER XXIII.
CHAPTER XXIII.
Massacre of the English Tongue.—Donald the Friend of France.—Scotch Anecdotes again.—Reason of their Drollery.—Picturesque Dialect.—Dry Old Faces.—A Scotch Chambermaid.—Oddly-placed Moustachios.—My Chimney smokes.—Sarcastic Spirit.—A good Chance of entering Paradise thrown away.—Robbie Burns and the Greenock Shopkeeper. he Scotch may be recognised at the first word by the very strong, [F] sonorous accent with which they speak English. It is like a German accent with the r 's of the Normans. In t
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CHAPTER XXIV.
CHAPTER XXIV.
The Staff of Life in Scotland.—Money is round and flat.—Cheap Restaurants.—Democratic Bill of Fare.—Caution to the Public. —"Parritch!"— The Secret of Scotland's Success.—The National Drink of Scotland.—Scotch and Irish Whiskies.—Whisky a very slow Poison.—Dean Ramsay's best Anecdote. n Scotland, the staff of life is porridge, pronounced parritch by the natives. Porridge is served at breakfast in every Scotch home, from the castle to the cottage. It is the first dish at breakfast, or the only on
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CHAPTER XXV.
CHAPTER XXV.
Hors-d'œuvre.—A Word to the Reader and another to the Critic.—A Man who has a right to be proud.—Why? ere I pause, dear Reader. An idea has just come to my head, and for fear it might be lonely there, I will impart it to you without delay. Now, to come at once to the sense of the matter, will you allow me for once—for once only—to pay myself a compliment that I think I well deserve? It is the word "Ireland," which I have just written in the preceding chapter, that makes me think of addressing si
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CHAPTER XXVI.
CHAPTER XXVI.
Glasgow.—Origin of the Name.—Rapid Growth of the City.—St. Mungo's Injunction to Donald.—James Watt and the Clyde.—George Square.—Exhibition of Sculpture in the open Air.—Royal Exchange.—Wellington again.—Wanted an Umbrella.—The Cathedral.—How it was saved by a Gardener.—The Streets.—Kelvingrove Park.—The University.—The Streets at Night.—The Tartan Shawls a Godsend.—The Populace.—Pity for the poor little Children.—Sunday Lectures in Glasgow.—To the Station, and let us be off. f, as Shelley has
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CHAPTER XXVII.
CHAPTER XXVII.
Edinburgh—Glasgow's Opinion thereof, and vice versâ.—High Street.—The old Town.—John Knox's House.—The old Parliament House.—Holyrood Palace.—Mary Stuart.—Arthur's Seat.—The University.—The Castle.—Princes Street.—Two Greek Buildings.—The Statues.—Walter Scott.—The inevitable Wellington again.—Calton Hill.—The Athens of the North and the modern Parthenon.—Why did not the Scotch buy the ancient Parthenon of the modern Greeks?—Lord Elgin.—The Acropolis of Edinburgh.—Nelson for a Change. railway
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CHAPTER XXVIII.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
Where are the Scotch?—Something wanting in the Landscape.—The Inhabitants.—The Highlanders and the Servant Girls.—Evening in Princes Street.—Leith and the Firth of Forth.—Rossend Castle at Burntisland.—Mary Stuart once more.—I receive Scotch Hospitality in the Bedroom where Chastelard was as enterprising as unfortunate. ith the exception of the famous tartan shawls, which we come across again in Edinburgh on the backs of the lower-class women, nothing in the costume of the inhabitants could remi
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CHAPTER XXIX.
CHAPTER XXIX.
Aberdeen, the Granite City.—No sign of the Statue of "you know whom."—All Grey.—The Town and its Suburbs.—Character of the Aberdonian.—Why London could not give an Ovation to a Provost of Aberdeen.—Blue Hill.—Aberdeen Society.—A thoughtful Caretaker.—To this Aberdonian's Disappointment, I do not appear in Tights before the Aberdeen Public. t does not enter into the plan of this book to give a detailed description of the principal towns and sites in Scotland. That can be found in any guide-book.
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ARROWSMITH'S BRISTOL LIBRARY.
ARROWSMITH'S BRISTOL LIBRARY.
"Novel readers ought to bless Mr. Arrowsmith for providing them with volumes of moderate size and price."— Sunday Gems. Fcap. 8vo, stiff covers, 1/-; cloth, 1/6 (postage 2d.) each....
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Arrowsmith's Christmas Annual.
Arrowsmith's Christmas Annual.
KATHARINE REGINA. By WALTER BESANT. [ October 29th. Crown Quarto. Price Five Shillings. KING DIDDLE. BY H. C. DAVIDSON. With Thirteen exquisite Illustrations by E. A. Lemann. Fcap. Quarto Price 2s. 6d. BUZ ; or, The Life and Adventures of a Honey Bee. By MAURICE NOEL. Illustrated by Linley Sambourne . "One of the best children's books this season."— Saturday Review. Fcap. Quarto. Price 3s. 6d. UNDER THE WATER. By MAURICE NOEL, Author of "Buz," &c. Illustrated by E. A. Lem
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ROWLANDS' ODONTO
ROWLANDS' ODONTO
Is the best, purest, and most fragrant Tooth Powder; it prevents and arrests decay, strengthens the gums, gives a pleasing fragrance to the breath, and renders the...
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ROWLANDS' MACASSAR OIL
ROWLANDS' MACASSAR OIL
Is the best and safest preserver and beautifier of the hair, and has a most delicate and fragrant bouquet. It contains no lead or mineral ingredients, and can also be had in for fair and golden haired children, and people whose hair has become grey. Sizes: 3/6, 7/-, 10/6, equal to 4 small....
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ASK FOR ROWLANDS' ARTICLES,
ASK FOR ROWLANDS' ARTICLES,
of 20 Hatton Garden, London, and avoid cheap spurious imitations under the same or similar names....
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A MOST USEFUL AND VALUABLE FAMILY MEDICINE.
A MOST USEFUL AND VALUABLE FAMILY MEDICINE.
Are one of those rare Medicines which, for their extraordinary properties, have gained an almost UNIVERSAL REPUTATION. During a period of Fifty Years they have been used most extensively as a Family Medicine, thousands having found them a simple and safe remedy, and one needful to be kept always at hand. These Pills are purely Vegetable, being entirely free from Mercury or any other Mineral, and those who may not hitherto have proved their efficacy will do well to give them a trial. Numbers are
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