On A Donkey's Hurricane Deck - free ebook by R. Pitcher (Robert Pitcher) Woodward

On a Donkey's Hurricane Deck, by R. Pitcher Woodward

A Tempestuous Voyage of Four Thousand and Ninety-Six Miles Across the American Continent on a Burro, in 340 Days and 2 Hours Containing Thirty-nine Pictures from Photographs Taken "en Voyage"....

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PROLOGUE.

This is as true a story of my "voyage" as I am capable of writing. Besides the newspaper accounts, two magazine articles, illustrated on this subject have been published, the only ones contributed by me, and they hardly outlined the trip. I have left out a hundred interesting incidents and culled and edited until I am tired, in order to condense this volume to convenient size. On the other hand, notable adventures only recalled by my photographs have been cheated of a mention, because the donkey

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CHAPTER I. Madison Square to Yonkers

TOC A noisy, curious, gaping multitude was crowded about the Bartholdi Hotel, New York. It was just after the noon hour on Friday, November 27, 1896, the day on which I was to start on my long and memorable journey across the continent on a donkey. The corridors were filled with interested guests, the reception room held about a hundred of my friends who had come to bid me God-speed, and less than a hundred thousand people choked Madison Square and the streets leading into it. I had agreed with

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CHAPTER II. Donkey's many ailments

TOC A shower of paper flakes fell upon the amazed citizens of Yonkers like an unseasonable snow-storm, and every flake contained the announcement: Who left New York without a dollar, to eat his way to San Francisco, within one year, WILL RELATE 100 HAIR=BREADTH ESCAPES Lassoing elephants in India; hunting chamois with sling-shots in the Alps; perils of an ostrich ride through the great African desert; and a kangaroo hop across Australia—THE BIGGEST HOP ON RECORD. Gleanings from the Press. "His s

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CHAPTER III. Polishing shoes at Vassar

TOC Never before had I encountered such a disagreeable road. While I tramped over the highlands from Peekskill to Fishkill Landing, Macaroni barely crawled. He kept me constantly in the fear that he would lie down and roll, and finally he did so, selecting a mud puddle. I was told donkeys fairly dote on dust, and that a roll will invigorate them more than will a measure of grain. But mine was different to other donkeys. Before leaving Peekskill, Dr. Shook said Mac showed symptoms of mud fever, a

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CHAPTER IV. An even trade no robbery

TOC An empty heart is like an empty barrel conveniently located; nobody will dare to gamble on the first thing to be thrown into it: and a full heart, like a barrel of fruit, must be sorted frequently, lest a bit of blemish corrupt the whole. My heart was as full of Macaroni from New York to Po'keepsie as my stomach once had been from Milan to Naples. I first fancied my donkey, next admired him, suddenly became conscious of a growing contempt for him, and finally pity, now that the time for part

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CHAPTER V. The donkey on skates

TOC Kinderhook! I promised myself to visit the seminary, so popular in the early '60's, and commune with the spirits of those charming old-fashioned girls of whom mother had often spoken. After dining at the Kinderhook Hotel, I looked it up, and found it to be then the village academy. The cold in my chest pained more than ever; I began to fear pneumonia. The landlord's wife said she would be a mother to me. Whew! If she made it as warm for her "old man" as she did for me, I pity and congratulat

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CHAPTER VI. Mac held for ransom

TOC Yuletide afforded me few pleasures. How I was to bridge the gulf of penury and want of the Holiday season caused me much concern. Lacking the funds to pay my hotel and stable bills, I canvassed the town and sold a few pictures before church time. I wished to attend Christmas service, but lacked the nerve. My grotesque attire might have inspired the preacher. I had worn holes in all my socks, and not having the price of a new pair, retired to my room to darn them. It was the first darning of

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CHAPTER VII. I mop the hotel floor

TOC Having the funds to tide over a couple of days, I set out early next morning for Syracuse. At 11:00 P. M. we tramped tired and foot-sore into the village of Fayetteville, having traveled twenty miles, the longest day's journey yet made. My donkey was fagged out. The stable men could hardly get him into his stall; but Mac had great recuperative power, and was so frisky in the morning that we resumed the march to the Salt City. It was still some distance to the city when an incident happened t

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CHAPTER VIII. Footpads fire upon us

TOC Soon after reaching Auburn, I received a theatre manager who called to engage Mac and me to appear at the Opera House. We signed with him, and the first evening we made such a decided hit that we were engaged for a re-appearance; I received ten dollars for both performances and the privilege to sell photos at the door, which netted me a considerable sum. Auburn is the seat of a State Prison and a Theological Seminary. Avoiding the former, I set out to visit the seminary. The students were co

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CHAPTER IX. In a haymow below zero

TOC Having been directed on the road to Pittsford, a town seven miles beyond, we tramped wearily on, battling with the elements as best we could until midnight, when almost numb with cold, I resolved to seek refuge in a small hamlet we were nearing, called Bushnell Basin. I was told it contained a tavern which would accommodate us, in an emergency. But it was so dark when we reached Bushnell that I could not see the Basin. Its dozen dusky-looking shanties seemed to be deserted, and when I saw a

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CHAPTER X. An asinine snowball

TOC We did not reach Albion until noon. So numerous were the snow-drifts that we made only a mile an hour. Old Boreas might have been a little more considerate and brushed the snow along the fences instead of piling it across our path. That morning I dug Mac out of a dozen snow-drifts. Albion looked to be a pretty place. Besides many attractive homes, it possesses the celebrated Pullman Memorial Church, a High School, and a woman's reformatory. But I did not visit those interesting places. Being

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CHAPTER XI. One bore is enough

TOC From which table we may safely conclude there is one dog less in the world, and that, estimating him by his kicks, Mac is a jackass and a half. If I had kept a complete record of the breeds, sorts, colors, and conditions of the canines, the pups and curs we met with on the road from New York, I might have compiled a book larger than Trow's New York City Directory, which still would exclude the mongrels and all unclassified "wags" and "barks" of the country sausage-districts. From a financial

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CHAPTER XII. At a country dance

TOC I did not tarry long in Girard, but spent the night in West Springfield. Thursday morning I escaped from the Keystone into the Buckeye State, eating dinner in Conneaut. As the sleighing had disappeared, I shipped my little sled home, as a relic of the trip, and packed my grip in the saddle, as of old. After a short rest in Ashtabula, we climbed a hill by the South Ridge road, where I got a fine view of the city, and soon lost ourselves in the darkness. Presently a farmer drove up in a ricket

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CHAPTER XIII. A peculiar, cold day

TOC As Bud bestrode the donkey the cheers of the throng rose, but above the tumult he could hear the North End jeering at him. From Willoughby we went to Cleveland. My route through the beautiful city lay along one of the finest residence streets in America—the famous Euclid avenue. From there we marched to Superior street, where cheers greeted us on every hand. The papers had heralded my advent, and as in the other towns and cities, the newspaper artists had taxed their imaginations to picture

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CHAPTER XIV. I bargain for eggs

TOC It was noon when I started for Dalton, three miles away, and night before we arrived there. The mud oozed into my overshoes, and I made Mac carry me and my grip. I delivered a lecture, whose receipts about defrayed my expenses, and was presented a pair of rubber boots by a man frank enough to admit the boots didn't fit him. We spent the Sabbath in Wooster. While strolling down its main street with my dog, I suddenly came upon a captive coyote, which defied Don, who ran off in a fright. That

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CHAPTER XV. Gypsy girl tells fortune

TOC Every one who has petted a favorite donkey will remember many traits of its mental capacities; for, as in the case of the domestic fool, there is far more knavery than folly about the creature. —Wood's Natural History. It was a sunny spring day when I arrived in Kenton. After supper with a young physician, on his invitation, I retired, and next day set out for Ada, a village sixteen miles away. Toward evening, being tired and almost without funds, I sat down to converse with a farmer who was

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CHAPTER XVI. All the devils are here

TOC Get money; still get money, boy, no matter by what means. —Ben Jonson. Indiana swamps, woodland, corn fields and log cabins were not unlike those of Ohio. On arriving in New Haven two hours after dark, I was quite tired out, and I think my companions were, too. We had tramped all day without dinner over a road alternately hard and muddy. I would have stopped to rest at a small place called Zulu, but the name sounded so cannibalistic that I looked to my firearms and hurried past. Next day I r

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CHAPTER XVII. Darkest hour before dawn

TOC A county poor-house on the road to Elkhart attracted my notice when I was about to pass it by. My outfit was recognized by a man raking the front lawn, and he urged me to visit the institution; so, thinking I might devote a quarter-hour to the cause of self-education, I tied Mac in the yard, and was shown through the dirtiest and most uninteresting building I ever inspected. Old, lazy-looking men, with empty heads in full hands, lounged about on benches, and several others in the hospital wa

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CHAPTER XVIII. Champagne avenue, Chicago

TOC The whole duty of man is to be a mother .—Jerome K. Jerome. One week of gamboling in sporty, wide-awake Chicago, and of high-life on the top floor of the Auditorium, put me in fine fettle to resume travel. My second morning at the popular hotel I indited this note to an Eastern friend; "Breakfasted to-day on the roof, got a shine in the cellar, and met everybody half way." For nearly five months, through severe winter and early spring weather, I had hustled as I never had before to make ends

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CHAPTER XIX. Donk causes a sensation

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. Days are but the pulse-beats of immortal time. —Sparks from Iron Shoes—Mac A'Rony. It was the twenty-tooth of April. The inclement weather, which had rained supreme for forty hours, suddenly abdicated in favor of the presumptive sun and genial air apparent which ruled gloriously for some six hundred and nine minutes. Save that it lacked the odor of new-mown hay, it was a day fashioned after a donkey's own heart. However, a yard of fresh grass painted green would have satisfied

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CHAPTER XX. A donkey for Alderman

TOC BY PYE POD. I left my embryo caravan in Oak Park for the night, and returned to the Auditorium Hotel. The clerk greeted me with, "Well! well!" grasped my outstretched hand, and with a smile said, "I thought your picturesqueness had left us for good." Then, pulling a pen out of the vegetable pen-stand which squinted "How to do?" with one remaining eye, he handed it to me. "I'm a hard customer to get rid of," I remarked; "could not get out of the city entirely this day, though I've traveled mi

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CHAPTER XXI. A donkey without a father

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. An uneducated person, seeing a picture of a donkey in a field, sees only a donkey in a field, however well it may be painted, and I fancy very exceptional ability would be required to make any of us think a gray donkey sublime, or believe an ordinary field to be one of Elysian. —Ideala—Sarah Grand. There will be many converts to the Darwinian Theory by the time I have taken Pythagoras Pod to his destination. They are recruiting all along the line. The Professor's street lectur

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CHAPTER XXII. Rat trap and donkey's tail

TOC BY PYE POD. "By my faith, Signor Don Quixote," quoth the duchess, "that must not be; you shall be served by four of my damsels, all beautiful as roses." "To me," answered Don Quixote, "they will not be as roses, but even as thorns pricking me to the very soul; they must in nowise enter my chamber." —Don Quixote. From Rochelle to the Mississippi I found the people more conservative, but interesting subjects for character study. The topography of the country varied but little. Snipe, quail, do

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CHAPTER XXIII. Mac crosses the Mississippi

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. Hell is paved with good intentions. —Samuel Johnson. How the Professor ever landed that lop-sided, dilapidated tile of his on the west bank of the Mississippi without a bottle of fish-glue is beyond me. The wind gave our whole outfit a good blowing up for not crossing the bridge earlier in the day, and Pod had to handle the hat as carefully as an umbrella to prevent it's turning inside out. Except at such times, we donks were the only ones to get a "blowing;" the threats Pod u

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CHAPTER XXIV. Pod hires a valet

TOC BY PYE POD. "Why, Toby's nought but a mongrel; there's nought to look at in her." But I says to him, "Why, what are you yoursen but a mongrel? There wasn't much pickin' o' your feyther an' mother, to look at you." Not but what I like a bit o' breed myself, but I can't abide to see one cur grinnin' at another. —Mill on the Floss. The good old black mammy, who made my acquaintance on the street, called upon me at the hotel to present me with a little dog. I thanked her, and told her that one d

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CHAPTER XXV. Done by a horsetrader

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. I had heard about the chilly climate of Norway, and was not surprised when we donks met with a cold reception. We had plenty of hay but no grain. Next morning the landlord said that he expected some oats soon after our departure. Pod had walked the last three miles, and warming up, had strapped his vest to the saddle, where I found it next morning. Peaking out of a pocket was a crisp five dollar greenback. Now, a donkey likes anything that's green. I never had eaten a vest. Bu

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CHAPTER XXVI. Pod under arrest

TOC BY PYE POD. It was nine o'clock in the evening. While we were chatting with the landlord of the only tavern in Luzerne, a portly, smooth-looking individual entered the room. He was clad in a great fur ulster and top boots. After a familiar "hello" to the landlord, he eyed me searchingly, and added, "Your name is Pod, ain't it?" I said, "I believe so; yours is what, don't it?" Evidently not pleased with my expression, he instantly struck an attitude, or something equally hard, and announced,

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CHAPTER XXVII. Adventure in a sleeping bag

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. What the devil was the good of a she-ass, if she couldn't carry a sleeping bag and a few necessities? —Stevenson. Our sojourn in Marshalltown was brief. Before leaving, my master purchased cooking utensils, so that he would not be compelled to travel more than he ought to in a day to reach a town; now he could cook his own meals. After going into camp the first night, Pod fetched out the cooking tools, and having saved up a huge appetite, went to work to get a fine supper. "He

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CHAPTER XXVIII. Mayor rides Mac A'Rony

TOC BY PYE POD. Dennison was still and peaceful when, at nine in the evening, we trailed up to its leading hotel, after a long and tiresome day's walk, for, to relieve Cheese and Mac A'Rony, Coonskin and I had journeyed half the distance on foot. But we left next day in good season for Arion, taking it slowly, as Cheese was noticeably lame; he had stumbled in the darkness the evening before. At Arion, so aggravated was his injury, that I tarried a whole day, for I appraised him a valued animal.

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CHAPTER XXIX. Across the Missouri in wheelbarrow

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. He was mounted upon a mule, which he rode gineta fashion, and behind him, by the duke's order, was led his Dapple, adorned with shining trappings of silk, which so delighted Sancho that every now and then he turned his head to look upon him, and thought himself so happy that he would not have exchanged conditions with the Emperor of Germany. —Don Quixote. The city of Council Bluffs is four miles from the Missouri River, and takes its name as many people do, from both sides of

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CHAPTER XXX. Pod in insane asylum

TOC BY PYE POD. It was my good fortune to obtain in Omaha a most adaptable teepee tent, a triangular canvas bag, as it were. One man could put it up in a minute. This waterproof tent had a canvas floor stoutly sewn to the sides, and when the door was tied shut neither sand, water, nor reptile could invade its sacred precincts; mosquito netting across the two small windows kept out all kinds of insects. Three could sleep in it comfortably, besides allowing ample room for luggage and supplies; and

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CHAPTER XXXI. Narrow escape in quicksand

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. And the ass turned out of the way, and went into the field; and Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way. —Book of Numbers. Shortly after reaching Overton, I took Pod with Coonskin and Don to pay our respects to Towserville, a large dog town so closely situated to Overton as to inspire a rivalry far more serious than that existing between Minneapolis and St. Paul. Overtonians complained of repeated raids made by prairie dogs of Towserville on their chickens and gardens.

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CHAPTER XXXII. At Buffalo Bill's ranch

TOC BY PYE POD. It has come about that now, to many a Royal Society, the Creation of a World is little more mysterious than the cooking of a dumpling; concerning which last, indeed, there have been minds to whom the question, How the apples were got in, presented difficulties. —Sartor Resartus. It was noon at Big Springs, the last village on the Union Pacific Railroad in Nebraska, when I sat down to write in my dairy. I had just finished a combination breakfast and dinner, warranted to kill any

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CHAPTER XXXIII. Fourth of July in the desert

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. Where and how to celebrate the Fourth of July greatly concerned Pye Pod. The third was spent in Julesburg, a town in Colorado, two miles west of the boundary line; as Sunday was the Fourth, we naturally expected a lively programme for Saturday. We were disappointed. Everybody had gone off on an excursion, and Julesburg was dead. So my master, realizing the long journey before us, inquired as to the possibility of obtaining an extra donkey, and was told of one, some six miles f

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CHAPTER XXXIV. Bitten by a rattler

TOC BY PYE POD. Sancho Panza hastened to his master's help as fast as his ass could go, and when he came up he found the knight unable to stir, such a shock had Rosinante given him in the fall. —Don Quixote. The casualty, which terminated our celebration on the fifth, seemed to portend bad luck. The metaphorical lightning first struck me. We struck camp, that hot July day, before the sun was an hour high, and a mile beyond trailed through a dog-town reservation. I had long been desirous of secur

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CHAPTER XXXV. Havoc in a cyclone

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. That is the idea; for Juliet's a dear, sweet, mere child of a girl, you know, and she don't bray like a jackass. —Huckleberry Finn. We did not tarry at the D. Horse Ranch, but later on pitched camp near a sheep ranch run by a Mexican, who met us with a grunt that nobody understood. "Gee! how I wish I could speak Spanish!" remarked Pod, facing the squatty ranchman. It was comical to watch Coonskin's puzzled face. "I once studied Spanish, but why didn't I master it! Just two wor

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CHAPTER XXXVI. Two pretty dairy maids

TOC BY PYE POD. At the head of the procession strode the four heralds. Silently they marched, in silence the populace received them. The spectacle reminded very old men of the day the great Axaya was born in mournful pomp to Chapultepec. —The Fair God. When I had taken a bird's-eye view of Denver, and visited many of its handsome streets and buildings, and met its hospitable citizens, I dubbed it one of the most attractive cities. One of the first to greet me was a member of the Jacksonian Club,

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CHAPTER XXXVII. Donks climb Pike's Peak

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. The Professor, scorning to waste shoe leather and economize francs, began the ascent on a mule steered by a woman holding on to the beast's tail. —Easter on the Riviera. A curious proceeding held my rapt attention as we neared Petersburg, a suburb of Denver. At the terminus of a horse-car line I observed a car approaching us down-grade, with a horse on its rear platform. As soon as the car stopped at the station the horse stepped off on a platform and took his place in front o

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CHAPTER XXXVIII. Sights in Cripple Creek

TOC BY PYE POD. It is the property of great men to rise to the height of great events. —Victor Hugo. The city of Colorado Springs possesses many attractions, and is growing in population and wealth. Here is a good-sized collection of pretty homes, built on wide and well-shaded streets, where reside beside the health hunter of independent means the mining king, the wealthy ranch owner, the Eastern capitalist, and the English tourist or speculator. Friday morning we entered that picturesque Swissl

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CHAPTER XXXIX. Baby girl named for Pod

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. You do ill to teach the child such words; he teaches him to kick, and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves; and to call horum;—fye upon you! —Merry Wives of Windsor. Frequently since crossing the Mississippi Pod had received letters from proud parents informing him that they had named their latest boy after him. At that time in Cripple Creek, several boys ranging from a day to six weeks old, whose destinies were thought to be promising, were afflicted with my ma

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CHAPTER XL. Treed by a silvertip bear

TOC BY PYE POD. How fast a man can run when he knows he's got to win a race! There was one time in my life when "can't" was an obsolete word in my vocabulary. It was when that silvertip granted Coonskin's chief desire in the field of adventure. "Shoot him! Shoot him!" cried the angler, as he fairly flew past me, headed for the first cabin. But I had neither time nor gun to shoot; when I heard bruin at my heels I switched off to the left and ran three times around the second cabin before I realiz

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CHAPTER XLI. Nearly drowned in the Rockies

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. And riding down the bank, he spurred into the water. —The Fair God. When, at the conclusion of Pod's Aspen lecture, he gave the signal for our outfit to "move on," I breathed a sigh of relief. I abhor crowds; I despise shoemakers. They say that an ingrown nail is painful; an inpounded nail is worse. Pod said he wouldn't care if I had lockjaw; for then I'd have to keep my mouth shut. "You ordered Bridget to call us at eight in the morning, didn't you?" Pod asked of his valet, w

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CHAPTER XLII. Donkey shoots the chutes

TOC BY PYE POD. We reached Glenwood Springs the week of the annual races, and I piloted my outfit to a prominent corner in town. At once a crowd gathered. After making a few remarks about my trip and promising a lecture before leaving town, I inquired for the leading hotel. "The Colorado," answered a chorus. Then a man in shirtsleeves, sombrero, and high boots edged to my side, and whispered, "Prof, there's a dollar house t'other end of town. The tax is five dollars a day at the Colorado." "How

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CHAPTER XLIII. Paint sign with donk's tail

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. Pod was always looking for trouble. The fellow who courts trouble finds it sooner or later. I brayed myself hoarse trying to persuade my reckless master to give Rangely a wide berth. He couldn't think of it. He was anxious to meet real wild-and-woolly-west cowboys of the old-time style; he didn't fear the worst of 'em. "Hit the trail, there, Mac," he said, spurring me toward the hotbed of cowboy rascality. Arriving at the house-saloon-store-city-hall-business-headquarters of R

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CHAPTER XLIV. Swim two rivers in Utah

TOC BY PYE POD. "Dost not hear the neighing of horses, the blare of the trumpets, the beating of the drums?" "I hear nothing," said Sancho, "but a great bleating of ewes and wethers." And this was true, for the two flocks had now come up near them. —Don Quixote. The great K ranch welcomed us just before dark. My animals were generously fed, and we men soon joined the Indian policemen at supper in the house. When, next morning, the foreman saw us pack the donkeys, he expressed surprise at my trav

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CHAPTER XLV. Initiated to Mormon faith

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. O, that he were here to write me down an ass! but, masters, remember that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am made an ass. —Much Ado About Nothing. My sojourn in the famous Mormon Capital was too short for my taste. I shall remember it as long as I have bra'in's. I am proud to say that I was initiated into the Mormon faith and took unto myself no less than eleven wives; and I would have outrivaled Brigham Young in connubial conquests if Pye Pod

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CHAPTER XLVI. Typewriting on a donkey

TOC BY PYE POD. There are braying men in the world, as well as braying asses; for what's loud and senseless talking and swearing any other than braying? —Sir Roger L'Estrange. We set out early from Spencer ranch, refreshed by a good night's sleep. The weather was mild, but the trail dusty, and the country uninteresting. I found Tooele to be a sociable town that, from appearances, subsisted mainly on sympathy and fruit. Some of its denizens own outlying ranches or fruit-farms, and the remainder,

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CHAPTER XLVII. Pod kissed by sweet sixteen

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. Very good; well kissed! an excellent courtesy. —Othello. By the time our caravan reached St. Johns, Pye Pod was bewailing his failure to discover the key to his typewriter's character, the non-production of his newspaper letter, and the forfeiture of the check it would have brought him; besides, he was borrowing trouble by deploring his prospective desert journey ere it had begun. "What a sleepy old hamlet in which to bid farewell to earth!" he muttered dejectedly, as we passe

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CHAPTER XLVIII. Last drop in the canteen

TOC BY PYE POD. Rocky Mountain canaries were singing their lullabys and Bridget (the clock) had just called eleven o'clock when the house of St. Joer loomed in the darkness. A hush was upon it and all the out-buildings. Though nobody greeted me, still I knew where I was by the odd-looking arch over the corral gate. Mr. St. Joer was at the soiree in Tooele, and had made me promise to tarry with him a night before braving the desert; so we camped in the corral. We were awakened early by the genial

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CHAPTER XLIX. How donkey pulls a tooth

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. Contrary to the old saw, "Misery loves company," Damfino wished to be alone. She said she wanted to cry, but couldn't. She had the sympathy of us all. Only those who have suffered can appreciate the sufferings of others. I never shall forget my profanity and the pain that prompted it when the too considerate Prof. consented to my electric bath. And now, with the same kind motives oozing out of his face, he introduced the sage brush dentist to Damfino. Dr. Arrowroot dropped his

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CHAPTER L. Encounter with two desperadoes

TOC BY PYE POD. Here, brother Sancho, we may dip our hands up to the elbows in what they call adventures. But take note, though thou seest me in the greatest danger on earth, thou must not set thy hand to thy sword to defend me, unless thou shouldst perceive that they who assail me are rabble and low people, in which case thou canst come to my aid. —Don Quixote. It was early evening, October 5, at Green's ranch. The somber quiet of the place seemed to indicate a deserted estate, but a dim light

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CHAPTER LI. Donk, boy and dried apples

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. I will feed you to bursting. —The Fair God. Eureka is a good old mining town that saw its finish when Congress demonetized silver. As have some clouds, it has a silver lining; the earth beneath and the surrounding hills are rich, or rather poor, in the white metal. A few of the mines were still operating, and any one could see ten-horse teams drawing ore done up in bags, like grain, to fool any mule or donk. The night we hungry donkeys arrived in town we followed a wagon fille

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CHAPTER LII. Lost in Nevada desert

TOC BY PYE POD. Then, looking down at the great dog, he cried, with a kind of daft glee: Never before was I in such a desperate plight, nor was I ever more frightened than now. I knew not where, but believed we were in the De Satoyta Mountains, possibly on the trail to pass between Indian Peak and Mt. Atry. We had kindled a fire, warmed our hands, and were about to unpack when Coonskin exclaimed, "For God's sake! Pod, the donks are gone!" Often had I exercised the importance of Coonskin's picket

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CHAPTER LIII. A frightful ghost dance

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. Old Len A——n was a jolly old soul, and a jolly old soul was he; he leaped aboard in the middle of my back, and hollared to me: "Git!—Haw!—Gee!" We donks had a great time at that little desert metropolis. Len owned the place, that is, until Pod's outfit arrived, then Mac A'Rony owned it. Pardon my seeming vanity. When the nabob of Sinclair rode me to the corral, the crowd cheered me three times three, "Hooray fer Mac A'Rony!" Besides Len, the sturdy pioneer of '49, there were t

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CHAPTER LIV. Across Sierras in deep snow

TOC BY PYE POD. It means, monsieur, that a storm is raging at the summit—a snow storm—which will be upon us ere long. And, dame! it is dangerous! —Tartarin on the Alps. We left Dayton at two o'clock. Carson City lay six miles away, close to the Sierra Nevadas, whose towering heights, on the Nevada side, rise abruptly from the plain. That afternoon's journey was the last we were to experience through the monotonous chaparral. When we trailed into Carson, the sun had gone down behind the forest-co

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CHAPTER LV. All down a toboggan slide

TOC BY MAC A'RONY. How he trots along on his mule! I declare the beast's ears are not so long as his master's. —The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The supreme moment of my life had "arrove." Must have come on Skates. I had crossed the broad continent at last—all but a little toboggan-slide of one hundred and fifty miles, more or less, and that would be easy sailing. I felt boastful now. When Pod wasn't occupied in prodding me over the pass he was quoting "Hannibal Crossing the Alps" and other heroic a

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CHAPTER LVI. 'Frisco at last, we win!

TOC BY PYE POD. Placerville greeted us royally. It was once one of the largest cities in California, and in those lawless days was called Hangtown. After describing my journey in my happiest vein, the thoughtful sheriff passed his hat and presented me with about nine dollars. Then amid hearty cheers for Mac A'Rony, we were escorted to a hotel. That evening Coonskin and I were fêted by the young "bloods" of the town. The following morning a jolly party drove me to Coloma, where I saw the statue o

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EPILOGUE

TOC This tale will be hard to swallow, because truth is stronger than fiction. The trip was more healthful for Pod than for me. There are four distinct distances across the American continent, viz: Three thousand miles as the crow flies. Three thousand five hundred as the train steams. Four thousand by overland trail for a man. A million miles as a donkey goes. The most monotonous constant companion for a long journey is a man. There are more people who descend to the level of a jackass than don

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